Over the past couple weeks, I've been struggling significantly. Struggling through being stuck in my own head, so much so that I wasn't realizing so directly that I was coming across sideways to other people around me. This mainly pertains to a situation that I found myself in at work. For those of you who may or may not know, I struggle greatly with many different things in my life such as mental health, physical health, loss, relationships with others, etc. I'm hardly a present person for myself much less other people. There was a situation that I was caught up in with another co-worker which I had been addressing with my supervisor for the past two weeks which I was indeed aware of. However, it was brought to my attention that apparently, I come across difficult to others as well. Sometimes I'm aware of this and other times I am not. I'm aware that I do struggle with this from time to time and it's not my intention to be a difficult person. Peopling is a difficult thing in general. There are so many different personalities, opinions, perspectives and the list goes on. I've always said that you can say just ONE thing to several different people and each of those people are going to take that ONE thing you said different from the next. It's nearly impossible to accommodate everyone in that regard. I won't get into the specifics of what happened but what I will say is that neither person involved was completely innocent in the situation. The only thing I can do is to try to work on becoming more self-aware of how I come across to others and be mindful of my own behavior. I've been greatly disappointed in myself lately over this recent situation.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm the only one who goes through things in life. I'm just speaking on behalf of my own self here. The saying, "You have to separate work and personal life; leave work at work and home at home" is a lot easier said than done, especially when you are constantly trying to work on things that are very heavy in your life, and you can't help but to take them everywhere you go. These things making it very difficult to control your anger, anxiety and depression at times. I have a hard time balancing my facial expressions, primarily because I'm in physical pain 24/7 and exterior situations that become problematic don't make it easier. One thing that I am getting better at is rationalizing and heading advice when it's given to me, processing and reflecting on my own individual stance in the given situation and attempting to see what I could have done wrong in the situation as well as what I could have done better or differently to avoid unnecessary animosity.
We can't always guarantee that we won't upset others, or that they won't perceive us in a way that we didn't intend. We can only do our best to improve and learn from it. Learning to be open minded and willing to be approachable in terms of listening is important to the success of mindfulness. Being open to self-improvement and change is the other half of that key to the success of mindfulness. Playing the victim is often the easy way out. Admitting where you could have gone wrong takes courage, strength and maturity. It's definitely not an easy feat to admit you were wrong, but it's the only way to learn and grow. You don't learn without making mistakes. You don't grow without learning from those mistakes.
My goal for this upcoming month is selfless mindfulness.
Five Reasons You Should Practice Mindfulness:
#1. Mitigate Stress & Ease Anxiety and Depression
#2. Improving Awareness and Focus
#3. Aids and Promotes Growth
#4. It Speaks Volumes About Your Individual Character
#5. Encourages Stronger Relationships
Mindfulness can be practiced in both your personal and professional life.
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