Weekends are for Laziness

Thursday afternoon, I went for my recheck on my left big toe.  I had it permanently removed this time.  I've had nothing but problems with the first two toes on each foot for years now and have had them removed about five times each.  If any of you have had a toenail removed, you know the process is not fun at all.  I'd have to say that the surgical process isn't much different getting it permanently removed other then them jamming phenol under the nail bed.  I did kinda feel the procedure because I vape so much that the nicotine didn't fully numb me, but still proceeded anyway.  I will say that the healing process is much, much different with a permanent removal than a standard removal.  It looks a whole lot worse before it starts to look better and the pain takes a lot longer to subside as well.  It didn't help that I was starting an infection.  So, the doctor put me on oral and topical antibiotic.  It doesn't feel too bad today, but still having some slight pain.

My infusion at the hospital went well on Friday.  I was extremely impressed by the attentiveness of the staff.  They treated me like a celebrity - wanting to know if I wanted my feet up, if I wanted a pillow and/or blanket and if I wanted a drink and/or snack.  They were very kind and very accommodating.  I do feel a little better since the infusion.  I have three more infusions and then I figure out what the next steps are going to be with the doctor.  I'm on my last bar on my vape and I think I will be done with vaping.  I've thought about quitting a few times recently, but could not bring myself to do it.  I know it's time for me to quit and I have to find the strength to just do it because I know that it's not benefitting my medical situation at all.  For one, nicotine combats chemical levels of certain medication such as Cymbalta which I'm on for anxiety related to my chronic health issues.  It influences dehydration and it can also make absorbing vitamins a challenge.  All things that I'm having issues with.  It's so much easier said than done to quit, but if I want to fix my medical conditions, I have to be willing to change.

I'm also going to start being stricter with my diet.  I've been consuming way too many carbs for my liking lately.  I wrote a list of foods that I can have so that grocery shopping trips will be less daunting.  I'm finding that if you are truly eating healthy, there really isn't much variety and it requires consistency.  Then I had a thought last night.  If I can redundantly eat the same unhealthy fast food, I can do the same with healthy food.  Once my toe is healed a little better, I'm going to start some regular low impact exercise a few times a week.  Ultimately, I'd like to lose a total of about 130 pounds.  My doctor would be happy if I could just get down to 170 pounds and while that is a great starting goal, I know that I want to lose more if I can help it.

We had the tree guys here on Friday and they did a lot of work for us.  We had them take out a tree in our yard that uprooted, remove two giant bushes in front of the house that we were having a hard time maintaining (and now you can actually see the front of our house now), trim another giant bush on the side of our house and trim the gigantic tree in our backyard.  The yard looks much, much better now.  They were here all day Friday, working their asses off and were reasonably priced!  Today I made meatballs in the crockpot with country gravy and we will be having green beans with it.  I have butternut squash and Jay has mashed potatoes.  I have to finish the laundry and take a shower.  After that, just have plans of relaxing for the rest of the night.  I think I may finish reading the rest of The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins - book review to come.

I hope everyone has a great rest of the weekend and wonderful week ahead!   

Me Oh My...

Looks like I came here again just to say how much I absolutely suck at keeping up with my blog. 😒

Just kidding.

Well, I have quite the life update for ya'll.

So, if you have read any of my past posts, you know that I've been dealing with autonomic dysfunction for about a year and a half now.  It's a journey that hasn't been fun to say the least.  At the beginning of this year, I started seeing a psychiatrist due to the relentless stress this invisible illness has been putting on my body.  I also got diagnosed with mild sleep apnea this year as well and now I sleep with a CPAP machine.  The psychiatrist put me on Cymbalta three times a day and it was rough adjusting to the medication at first, but once I adjusted to both the Cymbalta and the CPAP, my autonomic episodes have become less severe in intensity.  Unfortunately, I'm still having them and the frequency and duration varies.  However, for the most part, they usually don't get too intense but the lack of energy has been so awful that I've been bed bound a lot which has lately prevented me from being able to go to work.  THAT'S A HUGE PROBLEM!

My family doctor has truly been a saint at helping me through this.  It's very difficult to find doctor's that want to take on this case due to the complexity of the condition.  The nervous system can malfunction for countless reasons and it takes awhile to pin point exactly what is causing it to freak out and want to shut down.  I've already been denied by a geneticist and an immunology specialist, so there's that.  My primary found a genetics company that is in the process of sending me a testing kit to bring to the lab, so they can draw my blood and test me for Ehlers-Danlos syndrome which is a 17 gene analysis.  I start going for two hour infusions this Friday, every Friday for about a month.  The first session is just lactated ringers and B12.  Doctor wants to take it slow with additives so that I'm able to identify which vitamins will make a difference in stabilizing me.  Next month, I have a consult with the neurologist and I'm hoping because they deal with the autonomic system, that they will be able to help me figure out exactly what is wrong...or in the very least, guide me in the right direction.

I still need to be tested for Mast Cell Activation syndrome as well.  If all else fails where I live, I may have to travel out of state to seek help from a specialist but we are trying to exhaust all of our options locally first.  I'm hoping that the infusions will at least make me feel stable enough where I can maintain working without needing to be out anymore.  It's been rough for sure on that front.  If the infusions help drastically, there many be a near future discussion with a general surgeon about placing a port for regular infusion purposes.  From what I've been told, it's extremely difficult to convince a surgeon to place a port for the sole purpose of hydration and micronutrients.  Here is the case that I'm building so far:

I've been dealing with this condition for about a year and a half now.  I've had three E.R visits prior to starting Cymbalta and the CPAP which have helped considerably, however, I'm still having significant autonomic flares that as of late, make it difficult for me to go to work.  I drink approximately 120 ounces of water daily as well as I have tried vitamin supplementation orally for my deficiencies to no avail.  As far as my peripheral veins go, I'm a difficult stick and even more so when I'm dehydrated which has been a consistent battle.  I also have very tiny veins as well.  My GI tract is compromised which I believe is causing malabsorption issues.  Another reason that I believe this to be true is because my stool often has fatty deposits around it which tells me that my body is not breaking down fats properly.

Now, if the infusion trial were to drastically improve my quality of life and stabilize me, my goal would be to bypass the GI tract in order to sustain properly hydration and vitamin levels to be able to function, especially if this were to be the only way to keep my quality of life maintained.  I understand the risks associated with said port such as risk for infection.  I understand this even more so than the average patient because I work as a Suture Specialist for a medical manufacturing in a clean room where everything needs to remain sterile.  Also, each time I go for an infusion, it's a $200 co-pay and $800 a month is not financially feasible for me long-term.  Self-administering infusions would be much more cost effective for me in order to maintain my health.

So yeah, there's that so far.  This journey has been hard work.

I was thinking about renaming my blog to something like, "Chronically Tinisha" or something similar, but then I realized that I don't have plans of being chronically ill forever and I never really wanted my blog to be all about sad, depressing stuff but as of late, that's been my life.  At least I'm being real, right?

The Great Ice Storm of 2026

*Yawn and big stretches*

Happy Tuesday everyone!  We survived the great ice storm of 2026 this weekend.  I had a snow day and a half from work and I go in at 10 a.m. today.  Thankfully, we didn't lose power.  We are expecting more winter weather this weekend.

I don't really have much to say this morning - just wanted to say that I'm still alive!

I did some cooking yesterday and I made Oreo truffles to bring to work for my co-workers today because that's the nice co-worker that I am.  I've been window shopping on Shein and putting things in my shopping cart for our vacation to Tennessee at the end of October.

Because I don't have much to say, I'll leave you all with this:

#foodforthought

Things Are Looking Up

Good morning.

I have a few life updates to note in this post today.

Jason and I have paid off some debts with the money that we have come into recently, so we will no longer be living paycheck to paycheck anymore which is a huge sigh of relief after many years of living paycheck to paycheck.  We will now be able to afford to swiftly save for both things we need and want.  In saying this, we will no longer have to clench our butt cheeks together each year to be able to afford a decent vacation once a year.  I have also received my sleep study results back and I do, in fact, have mild sleep apnea.  I will be going to a medical equipment consult this Friday to get fitted for my brandy new A-PAP machine.  All things considering, I hope that the sleep apnea has been the root cause of my autonomic dysfunction, including the high blood pressure, tachycardia, palpitations and anxiety because if we treat the sleep apnea, it may mean that all of these issues will significantly reduce, if not, completely resolve.  I'm also looking forward to not feeling so much chronic daytime fatigue so that I'm able to function better.  On top of all of this, I received a phone call yesterday from my job, extending the job offer to me for Suture Specialist which I excitedly and most definitely accepted!  I officially start on Monday, February 9th!  I worked so incredibly hard to achieve this and I'm looking forward to seeing what the future holds with my career path at Arthrex.  Though the pay could be better and career advancement process could be improved for individuals such as myself who sincerely want to invest themselves into the company, overall, it's really one of the best places to work.  I'm truly blessed and thankful to work for Arthrex.

I've been praying so heavily for these burdens to be lifted from me because they have caused me so much stress.  For so many years, I've been struggling severely under a very dark cloud that felt like it was never going to dissipate.  God's been listening and I also think I have some prayer warriors to thank here as well.  God knows what I've endured and I'm finally getting the break that I deserve.  I will not take that for granted.  I'm finally, slowly getting my spark back and I must say, it feels nice.  I have an appointment on March 9th to follow up with the sleep apnea doctor on how the APAP is working.  My tattoo appointment is closely nearing as well.  I can't believe I will be sitting for my first ever full-day session and it's going to take multiple full-day sessions to complete.  I've been waiting to get this tattoo forever as I absolutely adore Alice in Wonderland.  It has significant meaning behind my mental healthy journey.  With my mom coming out at the beginning of August and Jason and I going on vacation at the end of October which already has a deposit slapped on it, I'd say that we are off to a pretty amazing start to the new year!  I've been dabbling into a new hobby of drawing and I will also be getting back into reading.  I want to do more of the things that make me happy.  Soon, I will be working on my overall health better.

When I get my first trip of a lifetime at work, Jason and I are thinking of going to Rome, Italy.  We may also take a day trip to Venice while we are there.  Jason has a long-lost relative that lives about an hour and a half away from Rome, so when the time nears, we want to see if he would be willing to meet up with us and show us newbie international travelers a thing or two.  With the debts that we are paying off, we are going to be saving that money that we would have spent on monthly bills to finally renovate our house.  I definitely owe it to God, Jason, family, friends and my co-workers for supporting me unconditionally through all my shit, both good and bad.  I'm going out with my co-workers this coming Thursday to Texas Roadhouse for dinner and drinks.  Once I start feeling a little better from using the PAP machine, I want to get with my friend Penny who has been nothing but patient with me as I struggled with health which in turn made it very difficult for her and I to get together.  I truly hope that this year and going forward, my life stays on this very positive track because Lord knows it's been very long awaited.

We are getting ready to receive some very nasty winter weather here, starting later this afternoon.  We are not even sure at this time if we will be able to go to work Monday and possibly even Tuesday because they are predicting that the roadways will be impassable due to excessive ice.  They are also predicting that we will have extended power outages for several days with no prediction when the power will be restored.  I went to the stores early yesterday morning and felt like I was in the run of my life trying to get what we needed to get through the storm.  It was almost like a mini black Friday out there!  It took me about three stores to find bread, but other than that, I was able to get everything else that we needed.  Shelves were definitely bare.  I had to pay three times the amount that I normally pay for bread because the only bread I was able to luckily find was Nature's Own Keto Bread but it will suffice.  The first part of the day today will involve getting everything done that requires electricity so that I don't have to worry about those things.  We have food and a gas grill to make food on, gallons of clean drinking water and will charge our phones in our gas-filled vehicles as necessary.  We will be okay!  We have plenty of warm clothes and blankets to keep us warm.

Positive Updates are the Best Updates

Things are finally looking up a little bit so far this year.  Jason and I became a little more financially stable recently and are looking forward to paying off some of our debts so that we aren't living paycheck to paycheck anymore.  Simba and Isabelle are considerably stable with their health issues for now.  My autonomic attacks have reduced significantly in frequency and severity, though they do still happen.  I should be able to work with the sleep doctor a little better once I get my sleep study results back to get relief from unrested sleep which will hopefully in turn reduce my chronic fatigue and my anxiety even more.  We booked our trip to Tennessee for the end of October a couple weeks ago.  My mom is coming out the second week in August to visit and spend some time with us.  I'm in the process of taking leadership and development classes at my job as well as I've had both my phone and in-person interview for Suture Specialist.  I've been filling in unofficially as a specialist for the last three months.  I should hear in a few weeks on whether I got the job or not.

The first Friday in February, I'm starting the process of getting my Alice in Wonderland half sleeve done - finally!  It's going to take about twenty hours of work to complete.  This will be my first time sitting eight hours for a tattoo - a little excited and nervous at the same time.  I've already filed my taxes.  So yeah, I'd say that things are going pretty decent.  Jay's dads birthday is this coming Friday, so we are going over his house Saturday to take him out to eat and have cake with him.  I started back going to therapy this week.  I have plans to go every other week.  My next plan is to develop a self-care plan to work on my overall health.  I haven't been keeping up with my water intake that well lately, so I'm definitely going to be improving that.  I'm thinking about switching my morning breakfast to drinking a Premier Protein shake and watching my carb consumption a little better.  In the next few weeks, I'm going to start incorporating some low-impact exercising throughout the week after work.  I would also like to come up with a dedicated skincare routine.

I'm hoping I can keep up with my blog better, especially to track my progress.  I've been battling keeping up with this thing for years and I'm not sure why.  I love journaling and find it to provide a sense of stress relief.  Plus, my therapist highly recommends regular journaling as a tool to reduce anxiety, depression and stress.  Well, that's all I have for todays post.  I'm going to put my Salisbury meatballs in the fridge, relax for the night and maybe peruse Kindle to see what kind of books I can get into reading.  Not to mention, we have been talking about where we want to go for my first trip of a lifetime benefit at work - definitely out of the country!  I get a trip of a lifetime every five years that I work for my company and each five years, they give you more money towards it.  We are thinking about going to Europe, possibly Rome!

Alright.  Ta-ta for now!

Self-Intervention

It's been a hard few months.

I've been dealing with chronic medical issues all the while trying to come up with a plan on how I'm going to heal.  The biggest person I have let down over the years is myself which led me to face a lot of hard truths.  I've been worried about everyone and everything else other than myself and that has reflected in my current circumstances with both my mental and physical health which has caused issues in my relationship with God, Jason and both my professional and personal life.  This year was definitely the straw that broke the camels back and it caused me to be at my wits-end.  I've had some time to stew on my thoughts and I'm not sure if I lost myself completely at some point in the process or if I've never had the chance to meet my true sense of self to begin with - to be honest, I'm not really sure I know how to tell the difference which I think is the barrier I struggle with in determining which one really took place.  At this point, however, I feel that trying to wrap my head around which one it is, is irrelevant because either way leads me on a journey with the same purpose which is finding myself.  Either way, I have to take time to heal and discover the person I truly am.

As I sit here and reflect, I've come to realize that I have given up a lot in neglecting myself.  I have given up on my health all together, self-care, my worth, family, friends, things that make me happy and at times - my professional life, my relationship with God and Jason.  Because of my lack of self-worth, I've allowed things that I should have never allowed.  Mostly, I let other's and their opinions live rent free in my head causing all kinds of manifestations of negative inner dialogue.  I've felt the incessant need to justify myself to others when it comes to their expectations of how I should be living my life and/or what I should or should not be doing.  I've been over-exerting myself in trying to keep the peace for everyone else that I allowed it to create nothing but total chaos and havoc in my life.  I've reached the point where I can't hold up this facade any longer.  I had to reach deep within myself to realize that I deserve better, to realize that I'm worthy of living my best life just like the next person.  After all I have been through, I deserve at least that much.  My therapist has been an integral part of helping me come to these realizations.  Though medication is still in the trial and error process for me at the moment, it has definitely helped balance me out a bit better and though I still have autonomic attacks from time to time, they have lessened in both frequency and severity which has allowed me the opportunity to think with a much clearer mind and provide me with some form of mental stability.

These issues didn't appear over night, so this journey will be nothing short of the same and that's okay.  After all of these years, I deserve to take this journey of self-love and care.  It's okay to be in a place of brokenness as long as we don't stay there forever.  This turmoil stemmed from early childhood and I've just let it take complete rein over my entire life.  It's time for me to bury the hatchet within myself and begin this journey.  That's not to say that I will not help other's when they are in need and of course, when I'm able, but more so, that I need to set myself as a priority first and foremost.  There are many, many things that I need to allow myself time to feel and heal from.  We live in a world where we really should and need to normalize that it's okay not to be okay and that we may need help at times.  It's nothing to be embarrassed about as we are all human.  With all of this being said, I don't have any specific New Years resolutions because for me, it's not about achieving a specific goal in a certain frame of time.  This journey that I'm about to take isn't something that can be achieved in just a years time - it's something that will unfold over the course of the rest of my life.  However, I will be taking this coming year to focus strictly on myself and the ground work necessary for this journey.

Things that I will be working on going forward:

Relationship with God, Jason, family and friends

Self-love, self-care and my health both physically and mentally

Changing the way I think/talk to myself

Paying off debts and saving money

Professional life

Working on our house

Engaging in things that make me truly happy (blogging, going out more, spending more quality time with Jay, reading, listening to music, painting, traveling trying new things)

Letting go (of my past, letting people live rent free in my head, being a people pleaser, worrying what others think of me, grief of losing my mother-in-law and my father, worrying excessively for no reason)

Allowing myself to feel and be truly happy

Creating a safe space for me in my spare-room where I can have time to myself

Dysautonomia - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

After seeing a cardiologist, I've recently been diagnosed with dysautonomia, unspecified.  The long and short of it, there is no cure for it.  There isn't really a doctor who will touch it with a ten foot pole either.  Did my cardiologist look at me like he was telling me I had terminal cancer?  Yes.  Did I completely lose my shit and break down in front of him to the point of being inconsolable?  Most definitely.  He can treat the high blood pressure and the tachycardia with medication that is being caused by the dysautonomia but beyond that, he can't do much else.  He recommended that I salt my food in moderation, even with blood pressure issues and to try compression leggings.  He said hydration and rest are important aspects.  

I'm really at a complete loss for words to be perfectly honest.  I'm devastated.  There are so many things that can cause dysautonomia, so there is no definitive way to figure out what exactly is causing it which is a huge problem.  I'm suffering from a lot of mental health issues because of it.  I've altered my life a lot lately in attempt to keep my symptoms at bay such as quitting vaping, switching to decaf or caffeine free products, eating healthy and drinking approximately 120 oz of water a day.  I also take vitamins for deficiencies.  All of the testing I've done has come back reasonably normal.  Bloodwork testing hormone levels, thyroid, complete blood count, comprehensive metabolic panel, auto immune disease, lyme disease, cortisol, norepinephrine, epinephrine, dopamine, tryptase, etc.  I've also had a cardiac scoring test, tilt-table test, ECG, EKG and echocardiogram as well as wore a 30-day heart monitor - all of which came back normal.  So, lets talk about it...

The Good: It can't literally hurt you.  Now I say this loosely because if you don't manage certain symptoms such as the blood pressure and tachycardia that goes along with it then over-time, yes, it can hurt you but other than that, it can't kill you.  Fortunately, the blood pressure and tachycardia symptoms of dysautonomia can be treated with medication, staying sufficiently hydrated, managing stress and consuming a healthy diet.

The Bad: There is no cure for it.  It is next to impossible to find a doctor that is willing to treat dysautonomia.  It's very difficult to figure out what exactly is causing it as there are countless things that can cause it.  It's not a highly researched topic as it's only becoming more and more common after COVID.  Having the hypertensive type of dysautonomia (not associated with POTS) is even less common which is the type that I have.

The Ugly: It sucks!  You never know when an attack is going to happen and even though you may have discovered some of your triggers, sometimes it still has no rhyme or reason why you are in a flare.  The flares can range in severity and length of time.  They can last only 15 minutes and not be that bad or last up days in a row and be completely debilitating.  You may even feel so horrible that you feel like you need to go to the E.R but the reality is, the E.R can't do a single thing for you.  How do I know?  I've been there for this.  They chalk it up as anxiety, may or may not give you a limited script for anti-anxiety meds, tell you to follow-up with your primary care doctor and send you on your way.

I've come to learn that the E.R can't help you unless you are actively bleeding, having a heart attack or having a stroke.  These attacks can be extremely traumatizing.  The most common symptoms I have during a flare is I get extremely cold (especially my hands), brain fog, rapid heart-rate, tingling throughout my entire body, flight or fight panic - basically feeling like I'm going to die.  In more severe attacks, including all the common symptoms, my whole body has tremors.  In the worst attack I've had so far, can't catch my breath and talking like I had a stroke.  The night of my worst attack, I dialed 911 on myself which was before I knew what dysautonomia was.

Triggers (for me anyway): HEAT, excessive sugar/carb consumption, dehydration, moving too quickly, too much stress, excessive lights and sound, being over-stimulated in general, standing too long, etc...

Tips that help me: Stay hydrated. Quit vaping (nicotine in general).  Limit caffeine and alcohol to a bare-minimum.  Listen to your body and don't force yourself to do something you can't do - if your body is telling you to lay down and get rest, DO IT!  Take breaks if needed.  I take breaks whether I'm out running errands, doing household chores and even if I'm out and about enjoying myself.  Be kind to yourself and limit your exposure to stress.  There is going to be stress in your life no matter what, but limiting as much as possible is imperative in reducing flare-ups.  If you can't get your own stuff done, don't agree to help others.  You can't help others if you're on fire yourself!  You have a condition that is chronic, complex and involuntary - you shouldn't feel guilty for that!  Lastly, what helps me during an attack is getting a cold water bottle and holding it to my chest.  I do deep breathing exercises and either sit or lay down until the feeling passes.  I try to distract my mind by either watching T.V or scrolling through social media of some sort.  I also tell myself, "This will pass as it always does.  It can't hurt me and I'm going to be okay".  I'll repeat it as many times as I deem necessary.

It's Been A Rough One Lately

I've typed up a couple of drafts over the course of the last month and to be completely honest, they are not something that I want publicly posted.  I've been going through a really rough time lately (still am) and at some of my lowest points, I wrote about some really raw feelings that I was having.  Those feelings still cross my mind from time to time but it's not something that I really want to share publicly.  To give the gist of it - I've been having feelings of not being good enough and not liking the person I am, to feeling like a complete and utter failure.  It's difficult having significant medical issues that put limitations on your life and it's even more difficult to stay afloat mentally because of it.  I didn't picture my life like this at all.  I thought by now that I would be a lot further in life both personally and career wise.  Inflation is kicking my ass - trying to keep my head above water with all of the bills and of course having four animals to care for, two of which are having costly medical issues.  I desperately need a vacation - away from work, away from health issues, away from doctors, away from the pets, away from the bills, away from the house - away from it ALL!  The end of August really can't get here sooner.  After having no vacations in the last three years, we are so ready for this!

The Cardiologist had me start Propranolol on Monday and so far I notice a difference in how I feel.  Yesterday was a really good day.  Today I'm okay but I'm a little stressed about Simba.  I had to drop him off at the vet today to have an ultrasound due to him losing a significant amount of weight lately, so I am feeling a little tense today but other than that, feel pretty decent.  The biggest thing I've noticed is that I don't feel my heart beat anymore.  My heart was beating so fast before that I could actually feel it.  I've also noticed that my heart rate in the morning when I first wake up is starting to stabilize.  It use to be between 105-125 when I first woke up and now it's in the high 70's, lower 80's which is fantastic.  The blood pressure isn't quite where I want it but it's definitely a lot better than where it was.  I suppose that I will see more definitive results in about another week or so when the medication has more time to get in my system, but it's not doing too bad considering I've only been on it since Monday afternoon.  I had my appointment with the Cardiologist's nurse practitioner and other than my heart having around eight-thousand PVC's in the course of thirty days, every other test I've had shows nothing but a relatively healthy heart.  They don't have the complete results of my tilt-table test yet, but it's looking like nothing is coming of that either.  The Propranolol is helping a lot though so far.  I should be following up with the Cardiologist again within a month's time to go over how the Propranolol is working.

We didn't get good news on Simba this week.  He has lost another pound and though difficult to diagnose, the vet is under a very strong suspicion that he has FIP (Feline Infectious Peritonitis).  The treatment for it is around $2,000 and is not very likely to work at his age as he is about thirteen years old.  If it did anything, it may buy him another few months of time.  He is also suffering a respiratory infection, so we are treating that with antibiotic and inflammatory meds.  She decided to do an x-ray instead of an ultrasound and said that he had a lot of  gas in his intestines.  We are not sure how much time we have with him but we are doing our best to spend as much time with him as possible as well as encourage eating and drink as much as possible.  Jason and I are just completely devastated - we have had Simba most of our relationship...him and Isabelle were our first babies!

Like I mentioned earlier, my mental health has been awful lately.  I've been experiencing a lot of negative, self-deprecating inner dialogue.  My attitude has been so shitty.  I'm trying to figure out how to fix it...how to heal.  I told my therapist last week that I just want to be a free spirit but I haven't the slightest idea on how to achieve that.  I'm dealing with a lot of inner anger that is keeping quite the hold on me.  I don't think I give myself enough credit.  I've changed a lot recently.  I've been eating a lot healthier, drinking more water, taking all my medications and vitamins consistently, cut way back on caffeine and quit vaping on my birthday.  I haven't vaped in almost two months.  Cardiologist did clear me to do some light exercise, so I will probably start a program two or three times a week after work.  I've been inquiring about opportunities at work and trying to network better in order to do better professionally.  I have a lot of inner work to do...

Lets Talk About Dysautonomia

I don't feel super qualified yet to discuss this topic as I haven't been definitively diagnosed with it as of yet.  However, because these symptoms have been going on with my body now since roughly the beginning of the year and because they have also affected my life so significantly, I felt that I'd like to at least touch upon a few things here while I'm in the process of going for various tests - so lets talk about it!

So, why am I calling my symptoms "dysautonomia"?

Well, because both my family doctor and cardiologist are sharing the same medical opinion that what I'm experiencing is most likely some form of dysautonomia which is a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system for whatever reason.

What are the symptoms of dysautonomia?

That's going to look slightly different for everyone.  For me, excessively bright lights, excessive noise, eating/drinking too much, inability to regulate body temperature (mostly getting too cold is an issue but I don't tolerate heat well at all), migraines, excessive fatigue, nausea and moving too fast all lead to my heart rate going well over 100+ bpm and making me feel like I'm having an emergent episode.  It's incredibly scary at times and trying to convince yourself that you're okay...well...relatively okay is a lot easier said than done when you're in a flare.  It's an exhausting disorder to say the least.  It can happen several times a day and makes it very difficult to go to work.  I usually wake up tachycardic which is a nuisance.

What kind of testing have I done so far?

I've had blood work, an EKG, ECG, cardiac scoring test and I'm currently wearing a 30 day heart monitor.  I go for a tilt-table test this coming Friday which Jason is going to take the day off to take me to because I need a designated driver because they are basically going to be provoking my symptoms with the test which in turn is not going to make me feel very good.  My family doctor is also going to send me for an echocardiogram just to be on the safe side.  They are basically wanting to rule out any direct heart related issues that could cause an imminent threat.  

For several months now, this has impacted my life so significantly that it's causing mental health issues.  I've had difficulty staying at work, can't really do anything outside of work because my body is just too damn exhausted just going to work.  It's awful.  All my life goals have come to a complete halt right now until we figure this out.  I've been going to therapy weekly to express how this all has been making me feel.  I just want to feel better and the thing is, I can't really control too much when a flare decides to pop up - they are mostly involuntary.  I'm not too sure how to describe what a flare like this feels like other than telling you that it feels like I need to go to the emergency room because I feel like something serious is about to happen to me...

In reality, the E.R can't do a thing for it.  It's just a wave that I have to unfortunately ride until I can have further testing done.  Things I have changed recently is: I drink between 80-120 ounces of water daily, I quit vaping as of my birthday on May 20th, I started drinking one bottle of sugar free Gatorade a day to get my electrolytes in and I switched to caffeine free diet Coke and try to opt of decaf beverage choices where I can.  I try to limit the amount of stimulants that I'm consuming as my body is not tolerating stimuli very well at the moment.  My family doctor put me on Nurtec for the migraines which my insurance so graciously gives me for free.  However, I can't be put on anything for the heart-rate issues right now until they do further testing and figure out whatever the hell this is that's going on with me because for one, it could skew any tests they try to do and two, it may not be the best course of treatment if they don't diagnose it correctly.

Vacation To-Do's at Myrtle Beach and Charleston

Jason and I are very excited in anticipation of our upcoming vacation at the end of August.  We haven't been on vacation in about three years just because of things that came up - mostly family emergencies.  With everything we have been through in the last three years with losses and my health, we are so ready for it!  We have been planning just a little bit because there is so much that we want to do!  So we wanted to share with you just what we plan to do, keeping in mind that we have been to Myrtle Beach several times already, so we are very well-versed when it comes to Myrtle.  However, this will be our first time visiting Charleston and there is so much we want to do when we go there that I have no idea how we are going to fit it all in!

Jason has been wanting to attend the Pirates Show and Dinner, so we are definitely doing that for sure.  The condo that we rented is just simply amazing with a jacuzzi right off the bedroom which has a king bed!  I'm trying to find a place local to Myrtle Beach where I can order custom made chocolate covered strawberries that I can pick up once we arrive.  I'm not talking basic-bitch chocolate covered strawberries.  I'm talking boujee chocolate covered strawberries - ones not only dipped in chocolate but covered in mini chocolate chips, Biscoff cookie, Oreo cookie, etc.  Although, I've been having a difficult time finding a place that does what I'm specifically looking for.  There was one small business I tried, but she will be out of town when I'd want them, so that fell through.  I also have plans of doing an all-out charcuterie board that features crackers, cured meats, cheeses, olives, pickles, nuts, jams, fruit, etc which will be nice to enjoy outside on the balcony of our condo.  We definitely want to hit our favorite hot-spot restaurants like Pegasus and Pizza Chef.  Jason wants to try the Hangout restaurant at Broadway at the Beach.  We will make time to navigate Broadway at the Beach - Jason and I have never experienced it in the evening/night when everything is lit up, so I think we will try that out for a change!  Boardwalk Billy's is another restaurant I want to try.  We will spend a day on the boardwalk, a day at Broadway at the Beach and then mostly hit the pool and the beach.  I do also want to go horseback riding on the beach as I think that would be so romantic and Jason has never gone horseback riding before, so it would be a nice and new experience for him.  However, I've been halted in my weight loss due to medical issues I've been having and so, I'm not sure I will be under the max weight to ride a horse by then...

Oh how I wish we had more time to explore Charleston!  It's our first time going and we are just taking a day trip there for a change of scenery.  I just don't think it's possible to see it all in one day!  Some strategic planning will definitely have to be done as well as some sacrifices more than likely...

The problem is, nothing really opens up until 9 a.m. and everything closes by 5 p.m.

Here is what we would like to do when we go to Charleston:

• Rainbow Row (Pictured in the above photo)
• Water Front Park ft. Pineapple Fountain
• Aquarium
• City Market
• Naval and Maritime Museum (Just visit from the outside and snap some pictures)
• Boone Hall Plantation
• Eat at Red's Ice House
• Haunted Jail Tour

I also wanted to visit the Angel Oak Tree but honestly, it's going to be a tight enough schedule trying to fit the above in as is and Angel Oak is about thirty minutes in the opposite direction which is out of our way.  As far as the Naval and Maritime Museum goes, due to a tight itinerary and also my medical issues, it's best to just enjoy the battle ships from afar and snap some pictures from the outside.  For the most part, the order I put the things we'd like to do in, is the order we are pretty much going to try to do them in for the sake of time and planning.  Rainbow Row doesn't have a time as it's just a bunch of residences but preferably would like to see them during the day, so early morning would be best for that.  Water Front Park opens at 7:30 a.m., so that can get done next.  Aquarium opens at 9 a.m. then best to do city market while we are in the area.  Then we shall cross the bridge and pop in to visit the battle ships real quick then head to Boone Hall as they recommend 3-4 hours to sufficiently tour the grounds.  I figured eat dinner around 5-5:30 p.m. and then schedule the jail tour for 7 p.m.  I believe the haunted jail tour is about forty-five minutes or so, but we also have about a two hour drive back to our condo, so the 7 p.m. slot would work best for us for that.  I'm so excited!  Charleston sounds like an adventure filled day!

I have a few outfits and other things that I have saved in my Shein shopping cart that I'd like to wear for vacation.  Jason and I haven't been on vacation in just about three years, so to say the least, we are both very excited about this vacation.  We are going to try to plan another one for next year to Tennessee.  Last time we went to Tennessee (which was our first time), we only went for three days, so we'd like to go back for longer and experience more!  We are just very anxious to have a very successful vacation with this beach trip because our luck over the past three years hasn't been good with things coming up and not being able to follow through with future vacation planning.

We All Know...That I'm Not Very Good At This

It's been a crazy past few month's guys.  Back in March, Jason's dad took a very nasty fall which resulted in EMS being called.  He fractured his hip around his hip replacement and had to have surgery.  Come to find out, he's been having mini strokes.  He has a referral for neuro-psychology but can't get in for another eight months or so because everyone and their brother has a neurological issue.  So, he most likely won't be seeing that doctor until around January 2026.  I haven't been too well myself lately.  I've been dealing with a lot of stress in my personal life and it's starting to show up physically now.  I've been dealing with a lot of increased heart-rate issues lately and I'm currently in the process of working with several doctors to figure out what is going on.  To say the least, these issues are making me extremely fatigued and feeling very ill most of the time.  My primary care doctor won't put me on any medication right now to stabilize the heart-rate issues until I see the Cardiologist on June 2nd because if I'm sent for any tests, being on medication will skew the test results.  So I'm just doing my best to reduce as many bad habits as I can for right now and eat as healthy as I can as well as staying well-hydrated in the mean time.

I quit vaping as of May 20th which was my birthday.  I had quit one time before and then my dad died - it's not an excuse.  I chose to pick it back up.  Yes, I was dealing with an extremely stressful event but at the end of the day, there will always be stress.  I don't do caffeine often but when I do, I'm now choosing decaf options which still has a small amount of caffeine, but is way, way less than actual caffeine choices.  I switched from cream in my coffee to oak milk and Splenda instead of sugar.  Yeah, they say Splenda isn't all that great either, but what the hell other options are there?  The only way to be truly healthy is to eat chicken and broccoli all the time and drink water - that's it!  I've had to take a step back from doing things that require me to "push" myself and ask Jason for help when I need it.  I think recent events really scared him with what I'm going through.

I've been reading a little bit here and there and would love to do so more.  It's just as of late, I've been very, very tired and I'll start reading and then my eyes will get very, very heavy and before I know it, the phone, tablet, whatever will just about fall out of my hands.  Self-help books is what I'm currently interested in right now.  It helps fill the gaps between therapy appointments.  I'm reading one right now called, "Forgiving What You Can't Forget" by Lysa Terkeurst.  A couple others that I'd like to read afterwards are "Communicate Your Feelings (without starting a fight) by Nic Saluppo and "The Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins.  I was also thinking of reading "The Magic of Mindful Self-Awareness" by Matt Tenney but I read the sample and it just didn't do anything for me really.

Therapy has been helping me.  I was so ready to cancel therapy this past Friday because I was out of work Wednesday and Thursday, spending from then until now mostly in bed trying to recover.  I'm dealing with a lot lately mentally.  I've been super hard on myself about my career and feeling bad about how I haven't been able to progress lately among other things.  Thing is, maybe I just need to focus on my current position and managing that as it is.  Maybe it's best that I don't progress until I'm able to get my health straightened out.  Either way, one thing I'm working on is setting boundaries with people and realizing I can't come to everyone's rescue all the time.  I need to put myself first sometimes and as of late, this is definitely one of those times.  I know I've said it a lot and we all know just how terrible I am at keeping this damn blog up and running, but what I would like to do is be a lot more consistent with it...writing here that is.  I love writing and keeping track of my daily musings, but I just haven't felt like I could ever prioritize it.  Well, the times come that I prioritize what is important to me!

1/19/2025

Good morning.

I've been busy this morning, trying to get ready for the week ahead.  I'm working on my last load of laundry for the week, cooking for the week ahead, started my exercise regimen, did some dishes, took care of the animals and now just taking a minute to sit down and work out some goals for myself for this year.  Among other things, one thing I have struggled with greatly is my weight.  And this year, while I'm not taking my goals super seriously (still taking them somewhat seriously...I'll explain that in just a minute), I've decided that going forward, I'm focusing on me - my happiness and my health!  Now, when I say that I'm not taking my goals super seriously, I'm taking them seriously, but just not to the point where I set myself up for failure.  Basically, I know what I'm going to work on and I'm just going to do the best that I can.  In the past, I have set my expectations too high and when I failed, I beat myself up over it.  One thing I have come to learn as I get older is, when you fall off, what's most important is getting back on track.

Friday I went to Walmart early in the morning because I hate going to Walmart once all of the people start getting out and about.  I spent way too much money, of course.  I was able to get most of the things on my grocery shopping list while I was there, stocking up on other things that I had ran out of.  Then I went to Ingles and picked up a few things that I prefer to only get at the grocery store.  From there, I sat down at the Honda dealership for almost three hours getting two recalls serviced on my car as well as getting a bent valve stem core replaced on one of my tires.  Came home, ate lunch, took a nap, woke up and did some laundry and changed the bedding all before Jason got home from work.  We tried a restaurant downtown called Doolittle's that was recommended by some co-workers and to say the least, I wasn't that impressed, especially for the price - very expensive!

I purchased Belli Welli to try which claims to have some pretty amazing benefits such as reducing bloating, supports hair, skin and nail health, keeps you fuller longer between meals, has electrolytes for sufficient hydration and has fiber and probiotics to promote gut health, keeps you regular and maintains metabolism.  I aim to drink about a half gallon of water a day.  I'm trying to cut way back on drinking soda and hopefully can cut it out altogether soon.  After I finish the vape liquid I have left, I'm also going to be quitting vaping again - hopefully this time, for good!  I'm working on getting my nutrients solely through my food intake and in that, consuming low carb food choices that are high in protein.  I'm basically going to focus on high protein meats, some dairy, veggies and fruit.  

I started my exercise regimen today, having only did 15 minutes with the Infinity Hoop because I have to take it easy with the issues I have with my back.  I'm hoping to do 15 minutes of the Infinity Hoop three times a week for now until I feel like I'm in a comfortable place to increase.  Slow and steady wins the race.  I was been able to lose about 25 pounds last year.  I still have about 122 pounds to lose in order to get to my goal weight.  One important thing I've learned from my doctor is to not worry about what everyone else is doing and listen to my body.  He always said, "listen to your body, it will tell you what it needs".  Since taking this advice, it hasn't failed me yet.  Others will always try to give you advice based off what they think is right or wrong, but truth is, everybody's body is different.  Two people may have the same medical issues, but how your body responds to those medical issues and what you have to do for your body may be different from that of someone else.

I'm not a huge breakfast person, so I just like to either do a TwoGood yogurt w/ chia seeds and granola w/ a banana or a Premier Protein shake and snack on fruit of my choice.  Monday-Thursday (my work schedule), I eat what they serve at lunch (because it's free) and I just keep in mind to minimize the amount of carbs I consume and my portion sizes.  Dinner is whatever I make for the week on Sunday's, keeping it high protein and veggies.  I try not to eat after 6 p.m. as that's when your metabolism starts to slow down for the night.  I made Jason pasta and meatballs w/ sauce and I'm doing a healthier variation without all the carbs - buffalo meatballs w/ sour cream cucumbers.  I feel like I'm in a really good place to start truly working on myself and I love it for me! 🙌

Thing's I'd Like to Accomplish in 2025

❤ Finish our mini bathroom reno in the main bathroom

❤ Hire an electrician to fix some electrical and do a few install projects

❤ Get the backyard cleaned up

❤ Get new floors for kitchen/dining room and living room/hallway

❤ Make a D-I-Y coffee station for our dining room

❤ Get new night-stands and do some decorating in our bedroom

❤ Another mini bathroom reno for our master-bathroom

❤ Continue strengthening my relationship with God daily

❤ Work out a self-care plan for my mental and physical health

❤ Take a much needed vacation with Jay

❤ Designate time to be "unplugged"

❤ Pay off credit cards and medical bills

❤ Read more...(especially the bible)

Little by little, day by day - I know that with God, I'll find a way!

11/10/24

Good afternoon.

The week was okay.  I had my phone interview on Monday and they called me back in the same day to schedule an in-person interview.  I didn't get the QC job, but that's okay.  Being a destiny oriented individual, I believe that everything happens for a reason and in that, I don't try to force doors open that are not meant for me to open.  The position I more recently applied for was braiding/textile tech.  I have my in-person interview for the braiding/textile tech position Thursday morning.  I have tomorrow off from work as I have a doctor's appointment to follow-up from the procedures that I had for my back.  The procedure is holding up pretty well for me for the most part.  Tomorrow, my mom also has surgery, so I'll be waiting to hear from her on how that goes.  I'm praying it goes well for her.

Jay and I celebrated our 14 year anniversary this past weekend.  Our anniversary technically isn't until November 26th, but seeing as how that's Thanksgiving week, we celebrated a little early.  We also celebrated the fact that he's been with his job for a year.  We visited Sigal Music Museum in Greenville and then went out to eat.  I finally got my Nashville hot and honey Chipotle mozzarella sticks at Chilis and yes, I got the cheese pull!  Other than that, I spent the weekend doing some light household chores and did a little more painting on my figurines.  I took a decent nap today as I was a little tired.  All in all, it was a good weekend.  I've already started buying things in preparation for Thanksgiving.  Jay's dad and I are splitting Thanksgiving down the middle as far as costs and cooking goes.

Anyways, that basically sums up my week and weekend.

Here's a photo dump from the weekend.

11/3/24

Good morning.

This week went by rather quickly.

Friday I went grocery shopping fairly early.  I came home and did dishes and laundry.  I made two loafs of homemade apple cinnamon bread - one for us and one for Jay's dad.  We took Jay's dad out for lunch yesterday at China buffet.  Having that family time was nice - we ended up discussing Thanksgiving plans.  We are going to split Thanksgiving down the middle with the cost of food and also cooking.  I also stopped at PetSmart and got pee pads and Greenies dental chews for Rebel.  Rebel's been dealing with dental plague so hopefully these help with that.  I finally started painting my 3D prints on Friday.  I focused mostly on Cheshire but also managed to paint Alice's hair.  I just have some light chores to do today such as washing our couch covers, vacuuming, dishes and cooking our dinner for the week.  I'm doing a simple dinner this week - sheet pan kielbasa, sausage, roasted potatoes and carrots.  Other than that, I just have plans of mostly relaxing.  Probably going to play video games for a bit and then get back to reading the bible.

Jay and I are suppose to go to Denver Downs farm this weekend for cider fest and pumpkin nights pending it doesn't rain.  Jay wants to get a funnel cake and I want to get an order of fried pickles and a corn dog.  Jay and I are going to visit with the family animals and watch Exit 83 band play.  I haven't heard anything back about the quality job, but they did post a position for braiding/textile tech I which was my second option, so when I got home Thursday afternoon, I applied for that.  I received a phone call on Friday requesting to set up a phone interview for the position, so I have that on Monday at 10 a.m.  I have all of my notes prepped and ready to go for that.  What is meant for me will be and I know God will make sure of that.  My only concern is the pay.  I don't mind temporarily making what I already do, but I prefer not to take a pay cut if at all possible.

10/27/24

The weekend was lovely.

My Friday was filled with grocery shopping and cleaning.  Babe and I ran to Lowe's because we needed new floodlight bulbs for the carport and then we got Zaxby's for dinner.  Saturday we went out - got our prescriptions and Japanese for dinner.  I also snuck into the liquor store and purchased a jar of banana pudding moonshine.  It didn't disappoint.  We spent our afternoon going halfsies on the moonshine and watching movies.  I woke up fairly early this morning - started my first day doing some low impact exercise, did some skin and hair care, dishes, cooked our dinner for the week and did some more dishes.  I finally had a chance to sit down and go over our finances because there are some things we've been wanting to order.  We got two air purifiers for the house (one for the living-room and one for the bedroom) because everyone's allergies have been terrible lately.  I also ordered a gate for Rebel because he's been having an obnoxious amount of accidents in the house, so now he needs to be contained.  I will take him for walks so he can get some exercise.  I ordered a steam mop so we can clean all of the things in the house (primarily the walls...like I said, allergies have been awful and the cats have butchered our walls - yuck!).  I ordered myself a 64 oz water jug so I can get my daily water intake.  Ordered a new loveseat couch cover because the one we had got destroyed in the wash.  Then just ordered my paints and brushes so I can paint my 3D prints that are primed and ready to go.

I also did some work in my shadow work book as well today.  All I have left to do is the dishes in the sink and then I think I'm going to read some more of the bible before bed.  I haven't heard anything about the quality inspection job which the quality supervisor said I would hear something by the end of the week if I got the job, so I'm assuming I didn't get it.  I won't write it off until the end of this coming week just in case, but if not, it is what it is.  I'll just keep on going onto the next thing.  I'll be disappointed but I'm a destiny oriented person to where I don't want what's not meant for me and perhaps there is a reason why if I don't get it...

I dressed up a little yesterday and felt super pretty.

Here's a mini photo dump of things from the weekend.

10/19/24

Phew, I'm exhausted!

The workweek wasn't too bad, especially the last two days with our PC being out.  Not going to lie, I definitely wanted to call out on Thursday.  It took every fiber of my being not to do so - with me being so exhausted and it being so incredibly cold.  I also had zero patience left.  Several things have been aggravating me lately and I really wish they didn't because it has to do with the actions and behaviors of others.  I will definitely be working on that.  I have to accept that I'm not everyone's cup of tea.  I've always known that, just have to work on accepting it now.  People are so negative and judgmental, it's insane.  I have to go back and reflect for sure because it's a them problem, not a me problem in terms of being incessantly negative and judgmental.  My only problem in that scenario is learning to be unbothered by those people because they are irrelevant and you can't change the actions and behaviors of others.  It's just really disheartening to see so much ugly in the world.

Moving on - I got up super early this yesterday morning.  I went grocery shopping, came home and put it all up, took a shower, skipped out to the doctors, went to the vape shop, came home and made lunch, did dishes and a load of laundry, watched a movie while I ate lunch, almost fell asleep during said movie, took a two hour nap, then went and got Japanese with Jay when he got home from work.  I picked up some apple cider and Reese's hot cocoa because you know, fall things.  I'm making loaded baked potato soup this weekend and brought some French bread to go with it for our dinner for the week.  I just have a few more household chores to do today and then I'm spending the rest of the weekend relaxing.  I have my on-site interview on Monday which is super exciting - I have both my fingers and toes crossed for that!

At the doctors yesterday, I had some skin lesions looked at.  I had seven new ones that showed up on my back.  I had one on my left breast for awhile, but never paid any mind to it.  I figured maybe I should get them looked at just in case.  Doctor is only really concerned about the potential of one on my back, but said it doesn't need immediate action at this time.  He did say that due to the fact that I have numerous moles, I do have to be monitored closely like, once or twice a year.  I told him that I was going to stop my Diclofenac while I was there and he's fine with that.  So, now I'm down to only three medications.  He wants me to stay on Nucynta and Baclofen just a little bit longer due to that I just had my back procedures not too long ago and wants to give it more time.

Wednesday evening, we went to Wendy's to try the Spongebob crabby patty meal which came with a burger with secret sauce, a medium fry and pineapple frosty.  It was okay, but I wish the pineapple syrup was swirled into the frosty, but it was settled at the bottom.  What really fascinated me was the customer service!  The two ladies working that day were so incredibly kind and personable.  I thanked them for that and told them to never change because it's definitely a lost past-time to have exceptional customer service and I had a long day that day, so it was refreshing and nice for sure.  I even contacted Wendy's and told them about my experience.

Yesterday at the grocery store, I had an older lady chatting me up in the cat food isle which a lot of people can't stand but I've come to enjoy it, so long as I have time.  If I have the time, I make the time.  It's nice to talk to other people, especially those you don't know.  She asked me if my cats were just as picky as hers and told me how she is currently taking care of about twenty neighborhood cats.  Bless her heart for being so kind.  We exchanged friendly banter back and forth until I finished picking out all the food I needed for the week for my cats and then parted ways.  She was such a kind person.  After Jay's mom passed, it's definitely made me appreciate the more simple things in life.

I'm going to insert a photo dump here of things from my week:

I've had a few good conversations this week with my best-friend and my cousin that I haven't spoken to in awhile.  Japanese was absolutely delicious last night.  I love fried sushi.  It's becoming sweatshirt weather which I also love.  Work had a pretty decent lunch menu this past week and next weeks menu looks good next week too.  They gave out cupcakes with pink frosting for breast cancer awareness month and it was so yummy!  Jay's friend is suppose to come back over Sunday and get the rest of the yard debris.  Like I said, I got some cooking to do, one more load of laundry and will probably vacuum and wash the floors but other than that, I'm going to lounge around and maybe play some video games, work in my word search book some more and do some reading.  I'm also going to prime my 3D prints that my cousin sent me.  This coming pay period, I'm going to buy the paints for them.  I'm very excited for that!

10/13/24

Today was a productive day.

I deep cleaned the bathroom, did two loads of laundry, made Salisbury steaks, roasted potatoes (for Jay), butternut squash (for me) and french-style green beans w/ bacon.  Just got done taking a shower and now relaxing before bed.  The weekend was nice but went by too fast.  Jay had his buddy over to help us cut down the tree that snapped in half in our backyard; he's coming back next weekend to get the rest of the debris.  I did some work in my word search book yesterday.  My mother-in-law brought me those books when I was hospitalized for my back - I never really touched them.  I broke them out during Helene because we had no power, so it was something to do that didn't require electricity.  I've been making a point to do them more frequently because it's nice to have some "unplugged time" and stimulate your brain.

I received my mail-in ballot today and filled it out straight away - it's ready to be mailed!  It was very important for me to vote this year.  There is no way I could take four more years of this circus and pray with everything that I've got that we don't have to!  Well, that's it for today.  Time to go and relax for the night.  Here's to another work week!  Hopefully it's quick and painless!