Snuggy Wuggens,
Snuggle Wuggles
Chicken
Nuggens
Bean Curd
Bell-Bell
Belly
Smell Bell
It was decent. I'm processing and reflecting on my own behavior and praying for guidance from God. I'm actively working on my behavior and practicing mindfulness. I'm learning through this journey that attitude is everything and can either make you or break you. My transition toward a better attitude lead toward me having a better day at work. I know it won't always be easy and it can be quite exhausting for someone who is both an introvert and someone who constantly battles with anxiety and depression but I know the more I proactively practice this, it will become easier.
I got off from work and made steaks on the grill for Jay and I's dinner. I watched a really good movie called, "Happiness for Beginners" which was uplifting! I had a wonderful lunch with my co-workers today. I also had the pleasure of having a couple good conversations with some co-workers that made me feel better. I wore makeup today and got compliments on it which was nice.
I ordered two of these tumblers from a TikToker and she just sent my package out today!!
My mother-in-law would totally be proud of me for ordering the last one for myself! I have to get ready for bed because 4 a.m comes early ya'll but just wanted to post a little update!
Life is a gift: We didn't ask to be here, but we are and what we choose to do with our time here is very important as it determines our final destination. We were all chosen to be here for a reason and we all serve a purpose greater than we know. God gave us all a life to see what we would do with it and with that life, we all have decisions to make. These decisions should be made with great discretion and wisdom. Mistakes will be made as we are human but it's how we learn from those mistakes that's important.
God is good and it's important to have a relationship with him: Though we may not always understand God's judgement, he is good. He has his reasons for the decision's he makes for the earth he has so graciously created - it's not for us to question even though we are curious by nature. He is the greatest teacher we have the privilege of having in our lives. He only allows those of us who accept him into our hearts to see the lessons he has for us. We are to serve our Lord Jesus Christ to the best of our ability and work toward a life of absolution. You should be pure with your intentions to accept God into your life and heart; God knows whose intentions are pure and whose are not. It's ill-advised to attempt an artificial relationship with God in attempt to go to heaven or because you want something from him. His purpose to us and our purpose to him is so much greater than we may ever come realize in our lifetime.
Learning is inevitable and is never-ending: I'm learning how short and precious life really is. It is after all a gift from God. As quickly as it was given to us, it can be just as quickly taken from us. We should be eternally grateful. I'm also learning patience, mindfulness, self-awareness, empathy, how to listen better, how to choose my words more wisely, admitting when I do wrong and making a conscious, genuine effort to improve, processing and reflection, what's truly important, how to love myself and others, how to pick and choose my battles, selflessness, how to improve my relationship with God and others, what I need to work on and how to work on it. All of it and the list goes on. You continue to learn for the rest of your life, learning never ends.
Family is important: It didn't necessarily take my mother-in-law to pass away to realize this, but it definitely magnified it for me. We may have issues with family from time to time and it's true that not all issues can be resolved. Sometimes it's even necessary to create distance in the absence of a resolution, but where there is opportunity to make things right, every attempt should be made. The family thing hasn't been an easy road for me due to how I was raised, it's something that I'm constantly trying to work on and improve. My mother-in-law taught me more about becoming family oriented than I've ever been taught from anyone in my entire life.
It's okay not to be okay: We often hide our feelings out of fear of being judged by others or enduring embarrassment. Truth is that most people experience not being okay at some point in their life, some more than others whether they show it or not. It's slowly but surely becoming more socially acceptable to not be okay. It's not okay to hold it all in and attempt to battle it by yourself - outcome is usually not a good one. If you don't have a good personal support system, you should seek help from a mental health professional. Having a healthy mental state is imperative to your well-being. I'm not underestimating how difficult it is to achieve, but starting somewhere is important. It's not easy, but it's worth it.
Healing is a process, be patient with yourself: Healing is a life-long journey. Everyone's journey is different because everyone has different experiences, some worse than others; but also, everyone's mind-set is not the same. It may be harder for one person to heal from something than another. It's not about keeping score here. Each person should understand two things about healing; there is not a right or wrong way to do it and you are on no one else's timeline but your own.
Being stagnant is okay, but not forever: There are days where we just can't, whatever that may be. Mental health can be exhausting and some days we just might not be able to push through with whatever it is that we have to do whether it be household chores, work, appointments, etc. It's okay to take a day or two to rest as needed, but you also have to be aware that you need to be able to get back on your feet and eventually face life again. If you feel yourself slowly slipping into a void of bad habits, seek professional help.
Helping others is important, but setting boundaries is okay: We should help others when we can. Helping others when we have the means to is imperative to being a good person. You should also do so and expect nothing in return. Not everyone has the same ability to help others as another person might. Helping others should be genuine and selfless. In saying this, you can't be there for everyone all the time and that's perfectly okay. It's okay to tell people no from time to time. Let's face it, we all need a little of our own TLC every now and then. Some people may get upset when you have to tell them, "No" - this is a normal human reaction. Understand that you are also under no obligation to explain yourself to other people as to why you have to say no. Others may not understand your reasoning anyway, but they are not living your life.
Self-care is important: Adequate hydration and sleep are important. A well-balanced diet is important. Exercise is important. Pain management is important. Working through mental health issues is important. Finding time to engage in things you enjoy is important. Cutting back and being abstinent from bad habits is important. Good hygiene is important. It's ALL important to get the best quality of life and highest life expectancy that you can out of your life!
Perspective is everything: It's not very often that we try to see things from a different perspective from our own. However, sometimes it's necessary in order to achieve a desired result or resolution to a problem. As it relates to being in a conflict, it's natural for us to automatically resort to a perspective that makes us the victim instead of the wrongdoer because who likes being told they were in the wrong? It's not a very good feeling to be told we were wrong. It takes a mature, strong individual to admit they were wrong. That's why talking to others and educating yourself is important. You don't always have to agree with others, but it helps you to gain an understanding of others and their mental capacity.
A few things to remember:
It's okay to eliminate things from your life that don't promote growth or bring you peace. It's 110% okay to create distance away from toxicity. You can only control the things you have control of and leave the rest to God. It's not worth it to break your own character because of other people's behavior - God will handle those individuals in due time, that's not for us to be concerned with. We can only be accountable for our own behaviors.
Over the past couple weeks, I've been struggling significantly. Struggling through being stuck in my own head, so much so that I wasn't realizing so directly that I was coming across sideways to other people around me. This mainly pertains to a situation that I found myself in at work. For those of you who may or may not know, I struggle greatly with many different things in my life such as mental health, physical health, loss, relationships with others, etc. I'm hardly a present person for myself much less other people. There was a situation that I was caught up in with another co-worker which I had been addressing with my supervisor for the past two weeks which I was indeed aware of. However, it was brought to my attention that apparently, I come across difficult to others as well. Sometimes I'm aware of this and other times I am not. I'm aware that I do struggle with this from time to time and it's not my intention to be a difficult person. Peopling is a difficult thing in general. There are so many different personalities, opinions, perspectives and the list goes on. I've always said that you can say just ONE thing to several different people and each of those people are going to take that ONE thing you said different from the next. It's nearly impossible to accommodate everyone in that regard. I won't get into the specifics of what happened but what I will say is that neither person involved was completely innocent in the situation. The only thing I can do is to try to work on becoming more self-aware of how I come across to others and be mindful of my own behavior. I've been greatly disappointed in myself lately over this recent situation.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm the only one who goes through things in life. I'm just speaking on behalf of my own self here. The saying, "You have to separate work and personal life; leave work at work and home at home" is a lot easier said than done, especially when you are constantly trying to work on things that are very heavy in your life, and you can't help but to take them everywhere you go. These things making it very difficult to control your anger, anxiety and depression at times. I have a hard time balancing my facial expressions, primarily because I'm in physical pain 24/7 and exterior situations that become problematic don't make it easier. One thing that I am getting better at is rationalizing and heading advice when it's given to me, processing and reflecting on my own individual stance in the given situation and attempting to see what I could have done wrong in the situation as well as what I could have done better or differently to avoid unnecessary animosity.
We can't always guarantee that we won't upset others, or that they won't perceive us in a way that we didn't intend. We can only do our best to improve and learn from it. Learning to be open minded and willing to be approachable in terms of listening is important to the success of mindfulness. Being open to self-improvement and change is the other half of that key to the success of mindfulness. Playing the victim is often the easy way out. Admitting where you could have gone wrong takes courage, strength and maturity. It's definitely not an easy feat to admit you were wrong, but it's the only way to learn and grow. You don't learn without making mistakes. You don't grow without learning from those mistakes.
My goal for this upcoming month is selfless mindfulness.
Five Reasons You Should Practice Mindfulness:
#1. Mitigate Stress & Ease Anxiety and Depression
#2. Improving Awareness and Focus
#3. Aids and Promotes Growth
#4. It Speaks Volumes About Your Individual Character
#5. Encourages Stronger Relationships
Mindfulness can be practiced in both your personal and professional life.
This one is kind of a loaded topic as well and nothing I say here is to berate anyone else's beliefs - I'm merely just posting my personal perspective on my own personal beliefs - you don't have to agree with it or even like it for that matter. I've been working on my personal relationship with God daily. I appreciate the ability and opportunity to have discussions about God with people. It's refreshing to listen to people's different perspectives on their beliefs in God - I pick and choose what I take from what others tell me and form my own individual beliefs based on what makes sense to me.
I was raised Catholic. I now live in a Christian state. However, I have chosen a path of non-denomination. I don't believe in all the materialistic "practice" toward believing in and having a relationship with God. I don't believe that you have to go to church in order to believe in and have a relationship with God. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and he is our savior. I believe that Jesus is the son of God. I believe that you have to show up for God virtually every day, not just when you need or want something. You have to genuinely work on your relationship with God every single day through trying your best to live through him, with him, and in him in the unity of the holy spirit. We aren't perfect even though God created us as such - we are all sinners and God expects that. What's important to take away from that is working toward forgiveness when we sin. Even if we aren't ready to ask for forgiveness, being honest with the Lord about it and where we currently are with our struggles, asking for guidance from him - he doesn't expect us to rush with change but what he does expect is for us to work on it consistently and make a conscious effort to do so and when we are ready to seek forgiveness, that we are sincere about it.
There's a lot that I'm still learning and will continue to learn and add to my beliefs as my life goes on. Like I mentioned previously, this topic is a loaded one and there are so many different beliefs on it - it's difficult to really accurately grasp everything about it. One thing that I have learned to do is go based off what makes sense to me in my heart and if it feels natural, I go with it. I don't think there is necessarily a right or wrong way to believe in and have a relationship with God - I believe it comes from whatever works best for you and each individual person's relationship with God is special and sacred. One thing I was told by someone when I asked them, "How do you know when you have successfully achieved a relationship with God?" Their response was, "Because your life will change for the better..." We all know that God never turns his back on us...even if we fall off the track of belief or stray away from him, but if we truly accept God into our hearts, he will never steer us in the wrong direction.
I used to be guilty about judging others. I've gotten better as time goes on and the more I mature throughout life. God is the only one who can judge us, no matter what we believe. No matter what a person does in their lifetime, whether you agree with it or not, whether you believe in it or not - it's never your place to judge another person. We were all created as equal through God. What someone else does or doesn't do, what they choose to believe or don't believe is none of our business as long as it doesn't affect us directly. Only business it is, is between that person and God. I believe that the only thing that truly matters is your individual happiness, how you treat other people and your personal relationship with God. Money, material possessions and status have no value when it comes to making it into heaven. It's not to say that you can't have those things because we are all guilty of lusting those life's pleasure's - just as long as you don't forget what is truly important when everything is said and done.
What really speaks volumes about a person is their ability to admit when they are wrong or when they have a problem. People who are open-minded and teachable. Ignorance does not look good on anyone. You don't have the ability to change anyone's behaviors whether they be actions or words but your own. Sure, you can give advice, but people have to actually be ready to accept and welcome change. Most people can hear (unless your deaf), but it takes actual effort to listen. There is a huge difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is something we do without realizing and we take it for granted. Listening happens when you hear, but actually take the time to process what you hear and decide what you're going to take from it. Actions also speak louder than words - sometimes it's not always about what you can say, but what you can do that makes a real difference. I also like to sit back and observe my environment and the type of people in it before I make a decision on who I involve myself with. I'm a lot more careful these days with my person and what I allow and for very good reason at that! I've spent way more time than I'd like to admit in the wrong places and with the wrong people.
One thing I do that most people think I'm absolutely crazy for is talking to people about highly debatable topics such as religion, sexuality and race. I always get shocked responses from people when they hear that I do this. Why? Because we live in an ignorant society where it's taboo to do something like that. I always get this look from people (if they don't verbally say it), "You're going to get yourself shot doing something like that". Look, I believe there is a right and a wrong way to talk to people. You ever hear the old saying, "Choose your words wisely". When I talk to people about things like religion, sexuality and race, it's not to display ignorance but rather educate myself on things I know nothing about to actually avoid coming across ignorant! You're only as ignorant as the things you refuse to educate yourself about. Knowledge is power, baby!
Our mom meant a whole lot to me and the bond we had was special. When she passed away and was no longer with us in person - she is still our mom and I still have a relationship with her regardless. I still talk to her just as much as if she was here with me in person. I still tell her when I'm happy, when I have new and exciting news, worries, sadness - even when I don't feel good. We can't physically see God but we still have a very important relationship with him and believe in him. The body is just a shell - it's our soul that continues to live on forever. I believe that heaven is just the next stage of life - eternal life and those that pass on to it, just beat us there first is all. By natural human instinct, we are inevitably sad and require a healing process - part of the process includes realizing that for whatever reason that God only knows, that it was their time to depart from their life on earth and advance to eternal life. Perhaps it shouldn't be something that we are sad about, but more a celebration that they lived their ultimate purpose and earned a spot in heaven to eternal life where there is no pain and suffering. It's difficult for us to process the physicality of a person leaving us because it's harder for us to lose something we had and grown accustomed to for some time than those things that we never had. Because of this, I've realized that I don't have to be afraid of accepting God into my heart and it's not totally crazy to have a relationship that you can't physically see. Just because I never met my great, great grandmother for example, doesn't mean she never existed - we don't have to be in our physical form to exist. That's why you hear people say that loved ones who have passed never really leave us.
I know that last part really has nothing to specifically do with religion and my relationship with God but in a way it does - it's touching on some of the things I've come to realize that have helped me strengthen my relationship with God and his fellow children. I've downloaded the King James version of the bible on my phone and have been listening to it through audio. I've been working my way through the book of Genesis and continuing to talk to God. I've been praying for all who are struggling whether it be mentally, physically or both; as well as praying for the ones who struggle with their relationship with God. I've been asking God to guide me through the things that I need to personally work on in my life, not to do the work for me, but to guide me while I do the work. There are quite a few things that I'm trying to work on to become a better person.
It's not clear and may never be fully clear to me why God chose to take my mother-in-law from this earth when he did and while I continue to struggle with the loss of her, it has taught me a lot of valuable lessons. They say that God doesn't make mistakes, so I have to believe and trust in my heart that this was all for good reason. God only takes the best and I know this to be true because she was in fact, one of the best. Her passing made me realize how important it is to have a relationship with God and to work on becoming a better person. Both of these things are not always easy, especially when life gets tough, but as long as we are trying our very best, God takes all of these aspects into account. God is all knowing, especially when it comes to the things that each of his children struggles with.
Things that I'm currently working on:
✅Reducing my cussing
✅Working through my anxiety, anger, and depression
✅Being kinder to my fellow brothers and sisters (God's children), despite the behaviors of others
✅Being closer with my family and working on those relationships
✅Being more selfless
✅My individual relationship with God
Things that I would like to work on improving in the near future:
❗Both my mental and physical health
I received a call from my father last Saturday and he's been struggling with some things - he gave me some news that I wasn't particularly happy about, but I won't get into the details because it's not my business to share. My father-in-law is also going through it as well but again, not my business to share. I'm keeping a check on the both of them and all I ask is that you keep them both in your thoughts and prayers at this time, please. I'm still continuing to have a tough time over losing my mother-in-law as well. It's going to be a difficult healing journey that I haven't even begun yet.
I didn't feel good the whole beginning of this week. My stomach was so screwed up! I felt super nauseous like the first 3 days of the week. I'm back trying to focus on my self-care. I'm still keeping up with my skincare routine and I've started back eating better again. I'm just cutting back on my portion sizes and carb intake, increasing protein. Due to how bad my back is, I'm trying to lose weight naturally with better food choices and portion control before I start any real exercise - I don't want to stress my back out too much. My last fifteen-minute break at work, I've been walking around the building when it's nice outside. Today I purchased a Cirkul water bottle and eight different flavor cartridges to go with it - so far, I like it! I needed a better way to get my daily water requirements in. My job requires clear water, so this is perfect!
I've also been watching weight loss TikTok videos to get some inspiration - and recently I've tried what's called "Hearts of Palm". They have 17 different amino acids; they are a good source of protein and also have many different beneficial minerals in them!
We have a heavy duty, professional digital scale in our locker room at work like you see at the doctor's office. I've been taken my weight every now and again to gage my progress and I've lost three pounds this week! I'm trying my best to get back on track with my self-care - it hasn't been easy, but it's totally been worth it!
Between not feeling well last week and having my head elsewhere, I made a lot of silly mistakes on what I worked on this past week at work, but toward the end of the week, I got better. I've also been working on my relationship with God and trying to be a better person all the way around. I'm working on cutting back on my cussing and eventually I want to quit vaping. I'm on a little journey and to say the least, I'm definitely not mad at it. It may sound selfish, no, scratch that. Why do we feel guilt when it comes to taking care of ourselves? It's done me a lot of good to focus on myself for a change and I shouldn't feel that it's selfish to do so!
I've also had a couple good conversations about religion with a couple of good co-workers these past couple of weeks and it's helped me a lot. I'm glad that I have found people to have these kinds of conversations with without having offense come into play.
Jay's shingles are healing up good now - thank God! He's out cutting the grass right now and then we are going over his dad's house and having an early dinner with him. His dad wants to get subs so that's what we are going to do! Then I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend with Jay. Right now it's hard because we are working completely opposite schedules from each other - when I'm getting off work, he's just going in. By the time he gets off work, I'm well into sleep land. Hopefully soon we will be on the same schedule! Just balancing everything while working 50 hours a week has been very difficult, but I'm managing. Oh, I've also cut back on my caffeine intake as well. I limit myself to one medium iced coffee a week which I usually get on the weekend.
Overall, things have been going okay. I'm just trying to take one day at a time...
No, Jason and I are still not married but we might-as-well be as we have been together for going on 13 years this coming November, so I call his mom my mother-in-law or as of late, just mom. He'll marry me someday. 😂
Edit and disclaimer here: I realized half-way through typing this post that I had a lot more thought process here than I originally intended so this post will be a lengthy one.
As I mentioned previously, we lost our mom April 6th of this year, and it is one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced in my entire life. That's saying a lot because I have been through my fair share of difficult things in life. I'm still going through a ton of grief and to be quite honest, I haven't even begun the healing process and she has been gone a little over two months already. I'm not sure why she was taken from us this soon and I may never get that answer. I'm still going through a lot of processing, sadness and anger over it. I hate saying that it has done some "good" things for me, but it truly has. It feels so wrong saying that because losing her was definitely not a good thing. I miss her every single day and would give anything to have her back but unfortunately, I can't live my life like that and even she believed that there is life beyond death; both for the living and the dead.
Her passing, though it's been extremely difficult, has changed my life - not necessarily for good or bad. It's just changed the way I perceive life completely. Losing her has made me realize how precious life truly is. I mean, we only get one, right? And we all have decisions to make with that life we are so graciously given. If anyone knows me, I haven't had the easiest life. Don't get me wrong, I know that there are people out there that have had by far a worse life than me - I'm not denying that; I'm only speaking for myself here and what I've personally been through. The purpose of this post is not to compare and contrast my life to those of others but to simply or rather, not so simply express my gratitude to the life lessons that I have learned throughout my life. Due to the nature of the life experience's I have endured, I will refrain from going into great detail about them as I choose to put those aspects of my past in exactly what it is...the past. But particularly, I want to take the time to share how losing my mother-in-law impacted my life. It has taught me a lot of very valuable and important lessons in a distinctly short amount of time, really, above all the different unfortunate things I have experienced throughout my lifetime thus far.
Life is Precious: We hear this all the time but rarely ever give it any real thought and we don't really until we have been through something so significant (usually painful mentally or physically) to provoke it. The term, "it really opened my eyes" is a term that only people who have really been through something life altering can relate to. And just when you think you have it all figured out, there's that next thing in life waiting to knock you on your ass. I have had experiences in life that only "opened my eyes" in the short-term and then I was right back to my old ways, forgetting or rather, dismissing what it taught me. I learned absolutely nothing.
Repeating history is ignorance at its finest. It takes some of us longer than others. "Those who do not learn from their mistakes are condemned to repeat them". You have to be ready to listen and take advice, not just hear it. And when you take advice, you take it at your own discretion - not all advice is best for everyone. Advice is very situational from person to person. I spent a lot of time (a good portion of my life) in a very dark place. I've spent a lot of time pondering and questioning things like my individual purpose, life in general, my relationships with others and God, etc. We learn best through trials and tribulations which when you think about it, is really unfortunate but true, nonetheless. When I read that last statement, I think to myself, "That's sad that we have to suffer in order to do better". But, if you never suffered, by natural human instinct, you take things for granted.
Think about it for a minute. When life is considerably stable and things are going well, we tend to not feel the need to change anything about it by default. It's only when things are going to hell in a hand basket that we begin to feel any actual need to have a thought process on change. We all process things differently. We all allow or disallow things to affect us differently. Something that heavily affects me, might not affect you at all or as much and vice versa. That's really life in a nutshell. We also all have decisions to make that will dictate how the next second, minute or hour of our lives are impacted. In all actuality, we underestimate the amount of power we really have in our lives. Believe it or not, we are responsible for the destiny of our own lives based on the decisions that we make every single day.
I started out the same way that most people do - young and stupid. We all think at a young age that we know everything and that we have it all figured out just to realize that we were sadly mistaken. I've learned that age is not what makes you wise, but what you have experienced in life and what you have allowed yourself to take from it is the true key to wisdom. Despite what you have taken from your life experiences however, I'm sorry to disappoint you, you're still not done learning - you're just simply wiser than you were before and an even smaller percentile more intelligent than the population as a whole but it's still an improvement from where you were before, no matter how small it is. Truth is, you will continue to learn until the day you take your last breath. If you learn nothing from the things you experience in life, you've made no progress and that's just foolish and a waste. You'll know when you've made progress from what you've learned when you see positive results from the actions you've taken to make change in result of those experiences. Being human, we tend to resort to what is familiar and change is a very difficult thing but where there is a will, there is a way. It doesn't happen overnight and often times takes many failures to bring success. That's all okay but what is not okay is giving up. Life is an assignment, and we are the pen and paper writing it.
I'm 32 years old and just beginning to learn what life is all about. Life is full of bouts of happiness, excitement, anxiety, depression, grief, loneliness, love, heartbreak, change, loss, gains...all of it. Notice how I listed more negatives than positives there. Happiness is a very difficult thing to obtain and these days, few people ever experience it in its purest form. Hell, it's something that I'm still working on and losing our mom made it even more difficult and deterred me off that path of working on it. Sure, there are times that everyone experiences now and again than make them happy but to maintain it is real work. Generically, people think that happiness comes from others and material things and while those people or things may bring you happiness hypothetically, it's artificial. True, authentic, genuine happiness comes from within. To become whole and truly happy takes a lot of soul searching. You have to find happiness and peace within yourself before any of those people or things can make you happy. You don't have to feel happy all the time to actually be happy but if a good portion of your life is revolved around people or material things as a requirement to make you feel happy then you are not truly happy. If your feelings of happiness dissipate after these people or things go away, then you have not achieved authentic happiness.
In saying all of this, a vast majority of people live their lives revolved around selfishness and greed without even realizing it. We are a product of the environment in which we live unless we choose to break that cycle. In order to do that, you have to learn the art of thinking for yourself. We live in a generation where we are taught to feel guilt for having our own feelings, thoughts and beliefs. This whole topic that I'm choosing to write about is a very loaded topic that I could keep going on about forever and ever and at some point, I could end up running around in circles writing about it. People tend to run around in circles with a topic when they are bound and determined to convince people of their truth, heavy emphasis on the word "their". I myself use to do that. Why? Because I felt guilt for how I felt, what I thought and what I believed which was influenced by our society. You will never, no matter how hard you try, ever get everyone to agree with how you feel, think or believe. The sooner you realize this, the more your sanity will be spared. So why am I sharing all of this? What is the point if I can't change the world? Well, primarily, I'm sharing all of this as a bookmark of my thoughts for myself but if I even help change one person's life in the process, I'd be happy. I wish I had read something like this sooner, not that it would necessarily change anything for me if I wasn't ready to accept it into my life, but it would be a good read anyway, right?
Where was I? Oh right. Selfishness and greed. "I HAVE to have the latest technology...the latest phone, smart watch, T.V, computer, game console, car, etc", "How many hours can I work to get the most money possible?", "I'm not good enough unless I wear this, have that, look like this, have that job, obtain this social status, have x-amount of friend's". Stop. STOP ALL OF IT. It's ALL nonsense. I'm not saying you can't have those things, but you don't need those things to be good enough or happy for that matter. Being good enough and being happy does not come directly from material, it's something that is intangible. Material things are meant to be a secondary form of happiness, not your primary source. When my mother-in-law passed away, I thought long and hard about life. You would hear it from older folks about working your life away to save for retirement, blah blah blah. Well, you should but don't kill yourself in the process to do so. It's crazy to me that people actually choose to work like a dog (over 40 plus hours a week) all their life to enjoy MAYBE 5-10 years of their life comfortably, maybe some people get a little more but let's be honest, hardly no one lives to 100 anymore. Despite not knowing when you will leave this earth, you still spend a good majority of your life working. I'm not saying don't work. I'm just saying, live your life in the process is all - don't forget to do that. We get so lost in the idea of making money or obtaining some unrealistic idea of status that before we know it, our whole life flashes before our eyes. When's the last time you thought about a celebrity that has passed away unless you seen a movie, music video, Facebook post or article about them? Be honest. You haven't. We all end up in the same dirt when we die, and that dirt is no richer or poorer than the dirt the next person is buried in.
What is the point of all of this? LIVE YOUR DOGGONE LIFE WHILE YOU'RE ALIVE - the younger you start, the better. Be kind to others. Think for yourself! Stop and smell the roses, literally. Unplug. Go outside and watch the grass grow and soak up the sun. Make time for yourself but also make time for others. Go to work and make money to live but don't kill yourself doing so. Don't compare yourself to other people. Take chances and make changes. Take your time - you're on no one else's schedule. Do your best to become the best version of yourself a little each day. You will continue to fail and make mistakes from time to time but be patient with yourself - that's all apart of learning and growing as a person. Make time to reflect and process the things going on in your life whether good or bad and reassess and make changes as you feel necessary.
Let's back up and reflect on the idea that we all have decisions to make. What decisions will YOU make for YOUR life? Me? I believe that I'm in my metamorphosis stage of life. I went through the denial stage. I'm slowly but surely moving through the acceptance stage and learning how to love myself to make the necessary changes in my life to find and define my authentic, genuine happiness. I'm not going to lie, it's work, hard work - but I truly believe in my heart that it's all going to be worth it. And on that note, I don't give a single shit what people think of me in the process and you shouldn't either!
Losing my mother-in-law taught me all of this. She is my guardian angel.
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