...hold my head up high.
And I'm still struggling with it. I know I haven't been here in a while. Life has been extremely difficult lately. I'm not going to make this longer and more drawn out than it needs to be, so I'm just going to say it - Jay's mom passed way. She passed away April 6th. It's been a very difficult past few month's. I've been taking this loss extremely hard. I also made the decision to quit my job as a quality tech. I actually quit Electrolux altogether as I just wasn't happy in the environment in which I was working, and it hasn't been good for my health or life/work balance. I'm starting with a company called Arthrex on May 15th. It's definitely a significant pay cut but I will hopefully be so much happier working at this company. I'll get my forty hours in four days and overtime is on Friday's and it won't be a full day on Friday's either. I won't have to work every Friday either, but I think the supervisor told me that right now Fridays are mandatory then once the OT starts thinning out, I'll be on rotational Friday's. I'm excited for a better life/work balance. Besides, I'll get regular raises and bonuses. I'm pretty much guaranteed weekends off.
Losing Jason's mom really opened my eyes to a lot of things. One of those things being is that life is too short to not stop and enjoy the finer, more simpler things in life. Money is not everything. I've come to realize that it's important to take time to enjoy life - it's important for both your physical and mental wellbeing. Since I've been seeing my therapist since December, she has helped me through quite a bit even though we haven't really scratched the surface of processing a lot of things that have happened in my life. And also, since having quit my job last Friday, I've been enjoying some MUCH needed time to myself. I've been opening the window in the bedroom and letting the natural light and breeze enter the room - the cats have been enjoying it too!
Like I said, I've realized a lot since Jay's mom passed away. Her and I were extremely close and had a very special bond. Money is definitely not everything - I worked my ass off to become a quality tech which involved a fancy job title, fancy pay, fancy limited supervision and a fancy amount of responsibility. One thing I prided myself in was always, ALWAYS being humble, no matter what I obtain in my life because one thing I have learned, have seen happen and have personally experienced myself is as fast as something was given to you, it can be taken away at any time. That being said, while it was still a difficult decision, I had to do what was best for my health. After many times of being out on medical leave and countless discussions with my doctor, it was either change my job or eventually become permanently disabled and not be able to work at all.
My first ever painting - I discovered a love for painting while I've been resting and relaxing between jobs. I just love opening my bedroom window and sit in my bed painting, listening to some country music.
I've bought a new hydrating facial cleanser to try and clear up some of my skin issues on my face. I bought it last weekend and it's working pretty well so far! I painted a beach on a canvas, cooked, cleaned, taken naps, watched some episodes of Greys Anatomy, listened to music, gamed, snuggled with my cats, spent some quality time with Jay and ate myself out of house and home! 😂 So many people are worried about how much money they can make. You can't take money and material things with you to the grave. I'm not saying that we don't save because we definitely do, however, I'm not going to allow my life to be consumed by it. Having seen it firsthand, unless you have ample money, if you ever become critically ill, they will take all your assets and even put a lean on your house before Medicaid will kick in and cover, so you might as well just live while you're alive.
I don't know about you, but it doesn't make sense to me to work yourself to death for 75-80% of your life to maybe (key word here being MAYBE) live comfortably for 10-15% of it because let's face it, people are just not living until 100 years old these days. That seems crazy to me. I don't need to have a whole lot in life. I'm okay opening that window, letting the natural breeze and light come through my bedroom and watching the birds and squirrels do their thing. I'm not a very peopley-person anyway. I enjoy just loving Jason and our fur babies and going on our couple vacations a year. I'm not hard to please - just don't forget to feed me every once in a while! 😅
I haven't been able to see my therapist since I quit my job because I don't currently have insurance, but once I start with Arthrex, I should be insurance starting day one of employment. I will give myself some time to get adjusted with my job then reschedule with my therapist. I've had some pretty awful days, but they haven't been all bad. I'm working through it and doing some soul searching. This is my last weekend before I start Arthrex on Monday, so I'm just kicking back and spending time with Jay. These next few weekends are going to be hard with Mother's Day coming up, my birthday and then seven days later, Jay's mom's birthday. The whole first week at Arthrex I'll be in classes. I'm so incredibly excited for this new journey!
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