Good afternoon,
I had just returned to work after taking a week off for my birthday. I had only been back to work for a week when I found out on 5/30 that my father had passed away. I'll spare all the details on that because quite frankly, I've had to repeat myself so much to so many people on what had happened with my dad's passing and how the arrangements were going to go that I've exhausted myself. My father had a lot wrong with him both physically and mentally - unfortunately, it was his time to go. As far as my long-term past and my most recent past as it pertains to him, I've officially laid it to rest along with him. Jay and I spent about a week up in Rhode Island taking care of things with that. He went back to work right away while I took an additional week off to recoup and handle a few additional things I had left on my plate, including my consult with the neurosurgeon. That consult was a complete waste of my time. The doctor doesn't think I'm a candidate for surgery at this time and apparently won't think so any time soon. He wants me to return to "conservative measures" which frustrates me only because I've been doing "conservative measures" for the past 9 years to no avail and the pain has done nothing but get worse! So, I'm going to have another consult with the spine and pain center I seen about three years ago and tell the doctor everything that's been going on, including what the neurosurgeon said and go from there, I guess. The neurosurgeon is also not giving me any restrictions at all - "listen to your body, it will let you know"...
Well, I tried using my infinity hoop again for just fifteen minutes or so and my back has been out of commission ever since. Our refrigerator shit the bed after about two days being back in town, so we had to order a brand-new fridge that won't be here until Friday of this upcoming week. So, I've been living off of peanut butter and pickle on a carb smart wrap and soup for lunches and we've been going out for dinner. I'm trying to eat healthier despite not having a refrigerator at the moment, so I opted for a chicken finger salad with honey mustard last night. I've had the shittiest luck since my father passed away. My father had no money (no 401k, no life insurance, no savings, nothing in his checking) to take care of his arrangements, so I had to front my bill money which I was able to get some assistance through family and friends, but I still need about another $600 to get me out of the red with my bills. My job has an employee relief fund program, but I got denied because apparently, I can borrow up to $9,000 out of my 401k - ugh, no way! I'm not even bothering with general public assistance because he'd have to make under $377 a month to qualify for that and he was getting far more than that in his disability check. Not to mention, the gas money we spent getting up there, driving around up there and back - plus the expense of food. Now we had to dish out additional money for a refrigerator! Talk about shitty luck, huh?
On top of that, I was in the middle of job bidding with my employer. I had originally put in for Textile Supervisor but had withdrawn the application because a position for QC Inspector II had been posted a few days later and I felt that my ability and skills matched more closely with QC Inspector II than that of a Textile Supervisor. Well, they were going to interview me for the supervisor position, but I haven't heard nothing back on the QC position yet, so I'm not sure how I feel at the moment. My current supervisor was trying to make sure that I was going to receive the same process as everyone else who applied because I couldn't help my circumstances. I even reached out to talent acquisition to make sure of that and they assure me that my application was in the process of being considered. Hopefully I'll find out more soon because right now, I'm trying not to assume or have feelings of disappointment towards it.
Through it all, through everything; I just want to take some time to myself, some much needed time. I'm going to take time to relax and heal among other things like organize my house better, eat better, consult with my doctors as needed, try to cut out more bad habits, incorporate low-impact exercise, game, read a book or two, blog - things of that nature. I do eventually, when I can afford it, purchase a memorial necklace for both my mother-in-law and father. His will have his ashes in it though; she was buried.
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