Mid-Week Musings: Choosing to Work on Me, Myself and I

This past month has caused me to put a lot of different things into perspective.  I'm still having difficulty with some aspects of the things I'm having to process as of late, but I'm trying my best to work through it.  Self-care is a two-part word that seems easy enough to understand, but in all actuality, most people struggle with it daily, especially those with severe mental health issues.  Self-care comes in many forms, some that many people don't even realize.

Let's go over this.

Physical Self-Care

Grooming:  It's important to be clean.  Thoroughly washing your body and hair.  Having an adequate skin care routine.  Brushing your hair.  Brushing your teeth.  Taking care of your nails on both your hands and feet.  Getting routine haircuts to maintain hair health.  All of it.  Those are just the basics.  Some of us choose to go the extra mile and do hair masks, facial masks, lip masks, getting our hair and nails done professionally, etc.  It's really about what works for you personally that helps you take the best care of yourself.

Diet and Exercise: I don't like the idea of the word "diet".  However, it's important to find a healthy balance with food so that you can adjust your needs as to whether you need to lose weight or just maintain it.  Exercise, even if you're like me and can't do a whole lot of it, whatever you can do, any amount helps.  It's good for losing and maintain weight and keeping your body strong and healthy.  A lot of people struggle with these two aspects of self-care immensely whether it be lack of motivation, time restraints in their daily life or suffering from other factors like mental health issues that contribute to their inability to be successful with it.  It takes a lot of hard work and dedication, but if and when you really want it, you will be able to achieve it.

Doctor and Dentist Appointments:  Keep up with them.  I'm good about my doctor's appointments but honestly have not been to the dentist in a while - I keep putting it off, completely and utterly guilty of it.  Be open and honest with your healthcare providers as they can't help you properly if you're not.  It's not always comfortable to discuss things with your providers, but it's necessary and essential to your well-being.

Medication Management:  I mentioned in my previous post that I had to purchase yet another reminder pill box.  If you're like me and require medications and/or vitamins to maintain your health, a reminder box could be extremely helpful, especially if you're like me and have a shit memory.  If you're on medications, you're on them for a reason and shouldn't skip doses or abruptly stop medications without speaking to your doctor about it first.

Mental Self-Care

Rest and Relaxation:  You NEED to find time for YOU.  This is important and most people underestimate the power of taking time to yourself and how essential it is for the stability and wellbeing of your mental health.  It's so sad how many people actually neglect this aspect of their life and I for one, am 110% guilty of it.  Rest and relaxation comes in many forms.  What does it mean for you?  What make YOU feel rested and relaxed?  For me, I'll share all the ways I love to get rest and relaxation:

• Taking a hot shower or bath where I can take my time shaving, exfoliating with my favorite sugar scrub, maybe even shut the lights off and light a candle in the bathroom for ambiance 

      

         Disclaimer: Do NOT recommend trying to shave without sufficient lighting!

• Putting on some cozy pajamas, making a nice cup of tea and snuggling up with my fur babies and a good book

• Engaging in some self-pampering like a hair mask, face mask and nail painting session

• Going to get a routine haircut and getting my nails professionally done

• Gaming, listening to music, watching a series or a movie

• Spending some quality time with Jason whether it be intimate, just chilling in the house or going out for the day

• Simply just spending time with my fur babies and perhaps dozing off for a nap

Those are just some of the ways that I prefer to get my rest and relaxation.

Self-Reflection:  It's critical to self-reflect from time to time in order to track your progress of lack-there-of.  It's the only way to continually improve your life.  It's not healthy to obsess over it but you should periodically do a check-in with yourself to reassess your needs and adjust your goals as necessary.  Try not to overload yourself with too many goals or expectations and if you find that you have done this, take a step back and lessen your load.  Little by little, day by day is the motto that I like to live by - it is after all tattooed on my arm...haha!

Boundaries:  It's perfectly healthy and okay to set boundaries for yourself.  The first piece of helpful advice with this is, 'don't compare yourself to others'.  The terms and conditions that make up someone's life is completely different from person to person, and everyone individually is different.  You are only one person and know yourself better than anyone else on what you can and can't do.  Listen to your intuition and don't be afraid to tell people "No".  There are not too many people these days that like to hear the word "No" but sometimes it's necessary for your own sanity - you can't do everything all the time.  Being a people pleaser is both a blessing and a curse - it can make you feel good but it can also cause you to experience burn out which can ultimately affect your mental health.  The sooner you realize that you can't please everyone, the better off you will be in the long run.

Comparing Yourself to Others/Caring What Others Think:  Don't do it.  Either of them.  It's a toxic mind-set and I'm also guilty of these two things but as of late, I've been realizing more and more that it's completely unhealthy to do.  With the way society is today, it's extremely difficult to break free of this toxic habit.  Usually, people engage in these two mind-sets because they feel the need to "fit in".  But when you really analyze this - it's so hypocritical for the simple fact that basically what you're willing to do is lose your true self in exchange for a chance to "fit in".  In reality, why would you trade a sure thing for an unsure thing.  It doesn't really make sense, does it?  Besides, comparing yourself to others and/or caring what others think is a constant stress and, in the end, you really fail anyways because the individual thoughts and opinions of others change constantly so at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter and all you have done is overly stressed yourself out and wasted your time.  Just be yourself and do you.  The people worth being in your life will accept you for who you are - even if you are goofy and weird. 😝 Lesson learned.

Some Pro-tips: 

• Keep a diary, journal - whatever you call it.  As you can see, I choose to blog which is highly beneficial in helping you have a place to let everything out, whenever you feel necessary.
• Keep an agenda.  This can help you remember appointments and other important dates, but it can also help you set goals and keep track of timelines.  Be realistic - as the old saying goes, "...a house wasn't built in a day".
• Don't be too hard on yourself.  If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, stop what you're doing and take a minute to just breath - just focus on your breathing, slow and deep breaths.
• Therapeutic body creams help de-stress the body - I recommend checking out Bath and Body works.  I use their stress relieving body creams.
• Talk with your partner if you have one and/or ask if they can massage you to help relieve some of the stress that your body is enduring.  Trust me, it works wonders. 
• Embrace change, don't be afraid of it.  Change is inevitable as you evolve over the years into your newer and better version of yourself.  If you resist it, you're bound to live a life of misery.
• Do away with people who are no good for you.  Listen to your gut, you'll know - trust me.  Quality over quantity is key here.  Ending relationships is never easy - I've done it several times, I know.  But no matter how difficult it is, I've found that sometimes it IS necessary for your own good.

/Endnote:  If you find yourself needing immediate help physically or mentally, dial 911 or go to your local emergency room department.  If you need mental health help but it's non-emergent, I suggest attempting to seek out a mental health professional - be patient - it may take time to get in with someone as caseloads are often full at time of request and/or it may take you several tries to find a good fit.