At the beginning of the week, mom got transferred to a regular room on the same floor - neuro. Friday as I was getting back from grocery shopping, dad called and told me that they are talking about moving her to an acute rehab facility but because of a bunch of different situations going on, we're limited to where she can go. We don't like the options that dad was given to choose from, so we are having a family meeting with the caseworker and attending that is assigned to her case this coming Tuesday so we can further discuss this. We went to see mom today while we were up there and she's about the same - she opens her eyes but seems like she doesn't really want to. She does have some mobility - she will move her arms, hands and legs. She's been able to keep her temperature down which is excellent, indicating no further infections at this time. Our goal is to get her into a facility that will be able to work with her extensively to get her to her maximum potential, whatever that may be considering the circumstances of what happened to her. We are working together to do what is best for our mom. I had a crying episode last night. I couldn't even finish my dinner and started non-stop sobbing. I started thinking about conversations mom and I have had in the past, things we have done both together and as a family and I just broke down - I miss her so incredibly much and just want her at least back to a point where we can talk and of course I want her to be okay as well...
Eventually I just took an Ativan to stop the thoughts and just went off to bed.
I was supposed to meet with therapist on Talkspace this past Monday and that didn't work out which was frustrating and caused me some anxiety. This is the message that she sent me the DAY OF our appointment:
I mean, at least she was respectful of my time and honest with me, right?
So, I continued on my search as well as called my insurance to see what my options were. They gave me another EAP code to use for more free visits as well as told me about an unlimited, free line I could call if I need to talk to someone - it's not meant to replace therapy but it's there if you're in the middle of an anxiety attack and just need to get shit off your chest. I found another therapist and set up an initial consult this coming Monday - the first appointment has to be in person then you can choose to do virtual so I will just see how it goes.
Tuesday, I had an appointment with my primary care doctor, and he extended my medical leave to give me more time to deal with my stress, adjust to my medications and relax. I go back to work after December lay off at work which is January 3rd. He wants me to continue to spend time with family and get acclimated with a therapist. I've also been taking the time to listen to some mental health audio books which has been helping and he also recommended that I go outside and walk around in the backyard some for some exercise, fresh air and take in some vitamin C from the sun.
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