Weekly Rewind: It's Been A Tough Week

Man.  I really can't make this shit up.  Considering how much I'm trying to work on myself, it bothers me now when I have to share the not-so-positive aspects of my life.  But being human and being flawed, some shit is just inevitable.  I'm trying to remain positive through it all, but some days are just harder than others.  It seems like ever since we lost Jay's mom that I have been having this really terrible streak of bad luck.

I still haven't heard back about the quality position I applied for at my job.  After everything that I've been finding out, I don't have much confidence that I will be selected for the position.  At this point, it is what it is.  I also found myself in a situation at work the week before last which had me super stressed out, so much so that I was afraid that I was going to lose my job.  I was headed into work and was attempting to park my car.  Being permanently handicap, handicap parking is imperative for me, especially considering the pain that I've been in lately and the treatment that I'm about to undergo for my back.  I can't ever tell from day to day how I'm going to feel.  Well, when I turned the corner to park in front of the building, for some reason, they had handicap all tapped off.  There was only one parking space left in regular parking which would have been the second-best option for me to park in relation to the building.  I had someone tailing me in the parking lot, so I felt pressured to park.  They prefer you to back your car in.  While attempting the back up into the parking space at 5:45 in the morning, there were two or three times that I had to redirect my car because I was too close to the truck next to me.  I didn't think I hit anything but once I successfully parked, I went around to the back of my car and just made sure that I didn't have any damage.  So, I just went about my day.  When I went into work on Tuesday of this week, my supervisor called me into his office at the end of the shift to inquire about what happened.  He said that someone "allegedly" reported it - that they had seen it.

I told him pretty much what I stated above and that I didn't think I had hit anything and that if I did, of course I would have reported it.  HR is usually pretty good about sending e-mails out if parking is going to be unavailable and for this particular day, they did not.  After some of night shift had cleared out, I had relocated my car to a closer parking space that was closer to where I'd have to walk to my department.  Long story short, I asked him what will come of this, he said that he wasn't sure and that he wanted to get my side of the story and that he would need to consult with HR.  The next day I was able to get into the building, so I considered that a good thing.  Though, time was dwindling because I'm fixing to be on medical leave this coming week and I wouldn't be able to rest not knowing if I was going to have a job to return to.  I decided to go see him at the end of the shift Wednesday and just see if I could get any update on the situation.  I've been feeling sick over this whole situation and even offered to pay for any damages in result.  He said that HR was off until next week.  So, I then asked him if this was going to end up being a fireable offense.  He did confirm that it's not something that I was end up losing my job over.  I then asked him if it will be a disciplinary that will prevent me from applying for jobs for the next six months and he said that is what they are trying to determine.  I expressed that I understand the caliber of the situation and how very sorry I was.  Lastly, I asked if there were any damages to the other person's vehicle and he said not that they are aware of.  I'm relieved to a degree that they are going to spare me my job but I'm still disappointed in myself and still feel very bad for what happened.  I made a mental note to do better and will definitely report next time even if I'm not sure if I've done something.  Other than that, my table at work had a little bit of a rough day yesterday - they are coming down hard on us about the quota.  So over this past week for real.

The two most delicious meals of the week that I had at work.

Anyways, as for my weekend, the Rock the Country festival is in my town this weekend.  Therefore, I will be staying home for the most part except to go to my chiropractic appointment this morning, up on the other side of town to pick up some medicine for one of my cats and grocery shopping.  Jay and I may end up going out to get Chinese food since they have returned from their 2-month hiatus to go to China.  That's all for me.

Currently the Weekend: There's Nothing Wrong with Loving Yourself

It's been a pretty decent weekend so far.  I ordered a bunch of shit off of Temu after already ordering a bunch of shit off Shein.  Friday, I had another chiropractic appointment - not too bad.  I went grocery shopping and picked up some other odds and ends.  Came home and put it all away.  Sat down and iced my back and used my new neck pillow for a little while that I purchased off the chiropractor to help correct my "military neck".  Gram called me and I chatted with her for a little while.  Jason got off work early and we got Pizza Hut for dinner.  Jason got the New Yorker pizza with regular and cupped pepperoni, and I got the new tavern style pizza with bacon, onion, bell pepper and olives.  Calories weren't too bad in that tavern style pizza which I was happy about.  Jay cleaned the cat boxes and helped me with the dishes.  I'm not making anything too fancy this week for dinner - just some cod with French-style green beans, mash potatoes for Jay and butternut squash for me.

Jay and I went out this morning to the Maple Bakery in Williamston - I got a banana pudding frappe and Jay got a maple iced latte.  We brought home some extra goodies.  Don't come at me with me being on this diet - moderation is key.  I ate one of their bacon cheddar jalapeno muffins and I got Jason just a regular bacon cheddar muffin.  I also got a few more things from their display case - cinnamon roll gooey bar, cookie butter gooey bar and a slice of their butter pecan cake.  Sugar galore!  I wanted to dress up today a little because I never really get the chance to.  Yeah, we only went out to the bakery but who needs a reason to dress up?  Self-care baby!  I came home and started the wash and got the bills situated. 

It's been a rainy weekend and I'm loving it!  A cardinal showed up in our backyard yesterday and it just made my heart so happy that mom's still giving us signs that she is with us.  That dress and cardigan is from Shein.  Peep some of the shirts I ordered off Temu - they are hilarious!  I also got some decals for my car coming in as well.  I'll post them when I get them and can put them on my car!  They too are hilarious!  I also got memorial decals for Jay's mom and my dad for my car's back window.  Jay's outside messing around with the lawn mower again.  I'm just in the bedroom relaxing a bit.  I'm going to change the sheets on the bed and get them ready for the next load of wash.  My debit card needs to cool off but when I get a few more paychecks, I want to order some new sheets for our bed.  I only have two sets right now to switch between.  Temu had some nice-looking sheets that had really good reviews for a decent price.  I can't overspend with having to be out of work soon for medical treatment.  I literally have only one more full week of work and one day of work the following week before I'm out of work for a little while.  I need to come up with a list of shows I'd like to watch and books I'd like to read while I'm off.  If Laura comes into town, I will probably get with her seeing as how I'll have the time off.  I wanted to see Twisters in the movie theater, but I think I might wait until that comes out on stream.  I definitely want to see Beetle Juice 2 in theaters!  Okay, I definitely over did it on the sugar intake today.  Oops!  Well, I got my bed changed and at least I didn't eat the sugar before I went to bed!  🙈

Monday Noodles and Musings or Monday Musings and Noodles - Same thing, am I right?

Today was my last day off from being on bereavement for my gg who passed away.  She passed away thirty days after my father.  I go back to work tomorrow until July 30th and then I go back out to start my procedures with my back.  I'm not sure if I'm just going to do the one set of medial branch block or have my FMLA/STD extended and have both of them done.  I guess I'm going to have the first one done and go from there and if I need to extend my leave, my doctor will handle that.

For the most part, I just putzed around the house again today.  I finished the laundry, cooked for the week, did dishes and vacuumed.  I read a couple chapters of the book I'm reading here and there in between all of my chores.  I grilled some chicken up and boiled lo-mien noodles for Jay and high-protein spaghetti for myself.  I also sauteed up some zucchini, onions, broccoli and mushrooms and tossed everything in some yum-yum sauce with a little bit of sesame oil.  Jay doesn't like many veggies, so he just got chicken, yum-yum sauce and noodles for his.

I managed to shower before Jay got home.  So, I'm just finishing up this post and I'm going to read some more of my book while Jay showers.  After we are done eating dinner, I'll dive back into my book.  Like I mentioned, once I'm done with the book, I'll do a review post on it.  I'm so incredibly wrapped up in it!  Cali is doing much better after dealing with a pretty nasty ear infection.  I go back to the chiropractor Friday.  Oh, I forgot - we took Jay's dad out to lunch on Saturday which was nice.  I'm glad we could get him out of the house for a bit.  It's supposed to rain all weekend, so it will be a lazy weekend in the house for sure.  Nothing else new for now.

The Sunday That Was Nothing Special

Sunday was mostly boring.

Jason went outside to manually cut the grass because the riding lawn mower is still out of order.  He just cut the front yard so that no one would complain and besides, the backyard wasn't too bad.  To be honest, I slept most of Sunday away.  I woke up kind of early and realized that Jason was still sleeping, so I laid back down myself and to my surprise, I did not wake up until around 3 p.m.  I made some food - sub in a tub to be exact and we both had a peaches and cream Italian ice a little while afterwards.  I ordered an ice pack that is large enough to cover my whole back due to the fact that I will be undergoing some treatment for my back, and I know that I'm going to require icing it at some point(s).  I stayed up late last night because I finally got the time to engage in some reading.  I'm reading a book called, "All the Little Raindrops" by Mia Sheridan and oh my, is it good.  When I finish it, I will be sure to do a review!  I went from chapter 6 to chapter 30 in all one sitting.  I couldn't stop reading and even found my eyes jumping lines wanting to know the next bit of dialogue between characters.  I skimmed through chapter 30 really quick to see how long of a chapter it was and decided that I'd save chapter 30 for tomorrow - it was a decent stopping point for now too.  I was very cold last night.  Jason likes to keep the house set to 73 degrees.  I had to put my robe on plus have two blankets on top of me to be comfortable when it's in the 90's outside!  I read for like 4-5 hours last night and didn't end up taking my robe off until I went to bed.

I ordered a 2-XL because I'm still in the early stages of my weight loss journey and figured if I got smaller that I could always just tighten it.  Well, to say the least, this is not a 2-XL.  Maybe in China it is, but definitely not by American standards.  Either way, it can still be used, and I can secure it to myself once I lose some more weight.  That sub in a tub was amazing by the way!  That's all I really have for Sunday.  Nothing special.  I just putzed around the house and did some small things like dishes, making lunch and starting laundry.

Weekend Stuff and Things

Do we not go back and add the title of the blog post sometimes after we generate the post?  There are days when I'm not sure what the title should be beforehand.  Sometimes I have to go back, choosing a title that is befitting based off the content of the post for that day.  Any who - just a little side thought there.  I mean, are titles necessary all the time?  Or even at all?  

Friday, I had my first appointment with the chiropractor.  They took X-rays, did a physical exam and consult, gave me my first adjustment followed by some TENS therapy with ice and then applied some Bio Freeze.  According to her evaluation of the x-ray, I have military neck.  So, my neck is straight rather than having a curve.  She said my spine is also pulling to the left.  She made notice of the degenerative disc and facet issues I'm having but also that one of my vertebrae where one of the discs is going degenerative has a burr on it.  Also, my hips are uneven.  I've been icing my back on and off all weekend so far.  

I had to take Cali to the vet last minute because she contracted a really bad ear infection.  The vet had to give her a long-lasting antibiotic injection.  I have to give her Prednisone daily for about a week as well as ear ointment twice a day for about a week.  I didn't have time to eat until I got done with all of that, so I treated myself to some Zaxby's.  I got three chicken tacos and some very delicious fried cheesecake bites with strawberry sauce.  I was nice and saved Jay like three pieces of the cheesecake bites.

Jay went outside and worked on the lawn mower deck this morning.  I took a shower and did some dishes.  We took Jay's dad out to lunch today at The Clock.  I got a ribeye steak salad w/ blue cheese dressing.  Then I came home and watched the new Mean Girls on my free-trial Amazon Prime and did some actual shopping on Amazon.  Jay wanted a new phone case for his phone and I needed to get a full-size ice pack for my back.  I came home and had a peaches and cream Italian ice.

I later made some low carb pizza roll-ups with no sugar added Ragu sauce to dip them in for dinner.  They came out so good!  Jay and I watched the movie, "The Idea of You".  It was a pretty decent movie.  I just have laundry to do to finish off my weekend and Monday I've got to get Jay some shampoo and arm-deodorant.  I'm caught up on all of our bills until next pay period.  I'm going to grill up some chicken and toss it in some yum-yum sauce and make noodles and veggies to go with it - kind of like a hibachi dish.   I go back to work Tuesday from being on bereavement for my gg.  I go back out on the 30th for my first set of medial branch blocks along with chiropractic care.

And that's all at the moment.  I'm going to try to get some reading in at some point this weekend.

T.G.I.F: Trying to Push Through

I'm still facing challenges.  I really feel like I might have broken a mirror and have ten years of bad luck.  Or someone has my Voo-doo doll...something.  I can't even make this shit up.

Well, over the weekend, I decided that I wanted to try to add my dad's Samsung tablet to my account so I could use it.  Long story short, that was a flop.  Apparently, it's nearly impossible to bypass the original users Google account unless you pay an authorized dealer to unlock it and that costs roughly $80 and you need the original receipt of purchase.  I don't really want to get into the details about this next one because I haven't yet heard from my job about the QC Inspector II position I put in for but through talking to someone who applied for it whom I worked at Electrolux with, seems to me that there is a sketchy situation going on.  I will explain at a later date once I have confirmation on their decision.  To say the least, I'm a little disappointed at the moment.

Anyways.

I just decided to get a brand-new tablet.  Way less headache and all I had to do was pay for the taxes of the tablet and add it to my plan for $34 dollars a month ($25 for unlimited internet and $9 for the protection plan).  Adding auto pay to my account, it only ends up being $19 a month.  It's newer, bigger, better so I feel like I came out on top with that.  My dad's tablet is pretty much a brick, so I will just put it with his belongings.  I decided to do some shopping because I deserve it.

Here is a photo dump of what I ordered.

All that for $123!  Also, I'm down almost 15 pounds!  I picked up this protein brownie from Ingles in the flavor Cinnamon Bun and ended up ordering a WHOLE variety pack off of TikTok yesterday.  Definitely a healthy, tasty alternative when you're trying to lose weight and you need to treat that sweet tooth!  The company is called Prime Bites.

Lastly, here is the new tablet.  I'm in LOVE!  The first one is my lock screen and the second one is my background!

And that's all I have for now folks.  I have my first chiropractic appointment today in just a little while here.  Also, Cali is dealing with an ear infection so I'm still waiting for the vet to get back to me.

Weekend Re-cap: 4th of July Shenanigans

I had the most wonderful weekend that I've had in a long time.

I worked on the 4th of July but that most certainly did not stop me from enjoying my weekend!  After I got off from work, Jason and I went to Imperial Grill (Chinese buffet) and then we headed to Seneca to see a tribute band for Journey called Departure - they were amazing!  We stayed for the fireworks show and it definitely did not disappoint.  We got home about 10:30-11 p.mish.  I got up fairly early on Friday and went grocery shopping.  I wanted to get out before the masses.  It rained out Saturday, but we managed to get the grill into the carport and had a nice little cookout.  We wanted to get with Jay's dad for the holiday, but my back was hurting more so than usual due to the rain and being on my monthly.  I actually had Jason manning the grill for the most part so that I could rest.  Rest assured; he was still being supervised!  LOL!  We grilled up some bacon wrapped hot dogs, cheeseburgers and corn on the cob.  I made a macaroni salad and we also had coleslaw.  I came across some Keto hamburger buns from Nature's Own and they were actually pretty good!  I chopped up some lettuce, tomato and onion for the burgers as well as brought a jar of hamburger pickles.  It all turned out pretty good.  We cleaned up the house and rested for the remainder of the weekend.  We are making plans to take Jay's dad out this coming weekend to a place of his choosing.

Here's a photo dump from the weekend.

Jason and I also went out and got the part he needed to fix the lawn mower deck.  I made a couple small purchases for the house and finally put out our door mat that I had made with our fur babies on it.

Here's all the things we cooked out this weekend.  Everything turned out really good!  We have leftovers for the week, so I don't have to cook dinner!

Here's a few videos of the tribute band for Journey (Departure):

Unfortunately, I can't post the rest of the fireworks show because the video length exceeds the amount I can upload.  But the rest of the fireworks show was amazing!!  One of the best I've ever seen in person.  I was very grateful that Jason took me out for this because he didn't really want to be around all of those people.  I think they estimated like eight thousand people that came out!  Crazy!  Half-way through the fireworks, we got in line to leave once they started letting people go which happened right after the finally.  We didn't want to get stuck in all that traffic! 

I hope everyone had a safe a lovely 4th of July!  I know I did!

Tuesday Thoughts: In A World Where You Can Be Anything, Be Authentically You

Things have been happening quickly from the end of last week until today.  I had my phone interview this past Friday.  I thought it went extremely well - the talent acquisition supervisor asked me if I had about 30 minutes or so to chat, but he had me on the phone for a little over an hour which is an extremely good sign.  It means he was interested and engaged in the conversation and that he obviously liked what I was saying.  Things moved very quickly after that.  Monday, I found out that I had been selected to move forward in the process to an in-person interview which took place today.  I felt that the phone interview went better than the in-person but didn't necessarily think that the in-person went poorly either.  The quality supervisor said that I should be hearing back by the week after next because he is going on vacation next week and they will make a final decision upon his return.  Lord only knows that I've been through hell and back in the past two years or so, so I'm hoping this is the break that I've been waiting for. 🙏 Now I just wait and pray in the meantime.

I've been feeling lately, especially because I've learned to break myself free from fearing what others think of me, that we really do live in a constant state of damned if you do and damned if you don't.  I mean that in just about every sense of the term.  There was a good video on my Facebook that I came across that said most of it quite perfectly.  "If you're fat, people think you eat too much.  If you're skinny, people think you're sick.  If you dress well, you're showing off.  If you dress simple, you're poor.  If you're serious, you're boring.  If you joke too much, you're immature.  If you speak your mind, you're rude.  If you're single, people think you're lonely.  If you're successful, people think you're arrogant.  If you're struggling, you're lazy.  If you're honest, people think you're naive.  If you're dishonest, you're untrustworthy.  No matter what you do in this life, people are always going to criticize you".  If you're genuine, people think you either have a hidden agenda, you're putting on some kind of facade or you're cliche.  If you're fake, well, that speaks for itself.  It seems like people just feed off of what everyone else is doing instead of worrying about themselves.  Everything you do or say can and will be held against you.  Everything you say and do is rhetorical to others.  There is no winning with these kinds of people, and I've come to realize that it's a THEM problem.  People seem to live to shoot down everything you think, feel, etc... if you want to share your progress in life, you're bragging.  You're expected to just sit there and keep your mouth shut!  It's an extremely disgusting attribute of society.  It's a human flaw within people to tear down everyone else around them just because they are unhappy within themselves.  It's quite sad.

Me?  Yeah, I want to be successful.  I have some pretty solid goals that I'm working on, but I do wish everyone around me success and happiness too.  I've always been a pretty humble person.  I guess because what I've been through in life and the severity of it has made me that way.  I know what is given to you, can always be taken away.  So, I'm grateful.  I used to care so much what others thought of me to the point that it caused me anxiety and in that, I held myself back quite a lot in what I'd say and do so much so that I lost myself because of it.  Not that I ever really knew my true sense of self anyways due to the nature of the things I've been through, but yeah.  So, I made an oath to myself that from a certain point on, that I would always be my authentic self regardless.  Things are going to happen; people are going to hate you.  It is what it is.  I've spent far too much time hating myself, especially at the dispense of other people.  So now that I'm learning to love myself, I will never let anyone take that away from me.  I always remind myself when I find myself starting to spiral into the eternal depths of anxiety and depression that you literally have two options in life; sit, wallow in self-pity and be miserable or move forward with your life, set goals and boundaries and be happy!  This world is already ugly enough as it is, so you might as well be the change that you want to see in this world.  Not that you will change others or the world, but you can at least control yourself - you don't have to conform with the rest of the world which is why we have this wonderful thing called FREE WILL!

Sometimes people cause their own demise.  Sometimes I cause my own demise.  Difference between me and most people is, I have what I have today because I made the necessary changes to get where I am.  You should never feel bad for that.  I had a lot of challenges and disadvantages in life (I still do) that I had to fight through blood, sweat and tears to achieve what I wanted in life.  Therefore, I do not accept nor tolerate excuses - mostly because I use to come up with every excuse in the book!  It's all on what you want out of life and how motivated you are to go after it.  It's that simple.  They weren't lying when they said that anything worth having in this life, won't be easy.  I can honestly say that the fight is worth it!  In a world where you can be anything, be authentically YOU!