Things have been happening quickly from the end of last week until today. I had my phone interview this past Friday. I thought it went extremely well - the talent acquisition supervisor asked me if I had about 30 minutes or so to chat, but he had me on the phone for a little over an hour which is an extremely good sign. It means he was interested and engaged in the conversation and that he obviously liked what I was saying. Things moved very quickly after that. Monday, I found out that I had been selected to move forward in the process to an in-person interview which took place today. I felt that the phone interview went better than the in-person but didn't necessarily think that the in-person went poorly either. The quality supervisor said that I should be hearing back by the week after next because he is going on vacation next week and they will make a final decision upon his return. Lord only knows that I've been through hell and back in the past two years or so, so I'm hoping this is the break that I've been waiting for. 🙏 Now I just wait and pray in the meantime.
I've been feeling lately, especially because I've learned to break myself free from fearing what others think of me, that we really do live in a constant state of damned if you do and damned if you don't. I mean that in just about every sense of the term. There was a good video on my Facebook that I came across that said most of it quite perfectly. "If you're fat, people think you eat too much. If you're skinny, people think you're sick. If you dress well, you're showing off. If you dress simple, you're poor. If you're serious, you're boring. If you joke too much, you're immature. If you speak your mind, you're rude. If you're single, people think you're lonely. If you're successful, people think you're arrogant. If you're struggling, you're lazy. If you're honest, people think you're naive. If you're dishonest, you're untrustworthy. No matter what you do in this life, people are always going to criticize you". If you're genuine, people think you either have a hidden agenda, you're putting on some kind of facade or you're cliche. If you're fake, well, that speaks for itself. It seems like people just feed off of what everyone else is doing instead of worrying about themselves. Everything you do or say can and will be held against you. Everything you say and do is rhetorical to others. There is no winning with these kinds of people, and I've come to realize that it's a THEM problem. People seem to live to shoot down everything you think, feel, etc... if you want to share your progress in life, you're bragging. You're expected to just sit there and keep your mouth shut! It's an extremely disgusting attribute of society. It's a human flaw within people to tear down everyone else around them just because they are unhappy within themselves. It's quite sad.
Me? Yeah, I want to be successful. I have some pretty solid goals that I'm working on, but I do wish everyone around me success and happiness too. I've always been a pretty humble person. I guess because what I've been through in life and the severity of it has made me that way. I know what is given to you, can always be taken away. So, I'm grateful. I used to care so much what others thought of me to the point that it caused me anxiety and in that, I held myself back quite a lot in what I'd say and do so much so that I lost myself because of it. Not that I ever really knew my true sense of self anyways due to the nature of the things I've been through, but yeah. So, I made an oath to myself that from a certain point on, that I would always be my authentic self regardless. Things are going to happen; people are going to hate you. It is what it is. I've spent far too much time hating myself, especially at the dispense of other people. So now that I'm learning to love myself, I will never let anyone take that away from me. I always remind myself when I find myself starting to spiral into the eternal depths of anxiety and depression that you literally have two options in life; sit, wallow in self-pity and be miserable or move forward with your life, set goals and boundaries and be happy! This world is already ugly enough as it is, so you might as well be the change that you want to see in this world. Not that you will change others or the world, but you can at least control yourself - you don't have to conform with the rest of the world which is why we have this wonderful thing called FREE WILL!
Sometimes people cause their own demise. Sometimes I cause my own demise. Difference between me and most people is, I have what I have today because I made the necessary changes to get where I am. You should never feel bad for that. I had a lot of challenges and disadvantages in life (I still do) that I had to fight through blood, sweat and tears to achieve what I wanted in life. Therefore, I do not accept nor tolerate excuses - mostly because I use to come up with every excuse in the book! It's all on what you want out of life and how motivated you are to go after it. It's that simple. They weren't lying when they said that anything worth having in this life, won't be easy. I can honestly say that the fight is worth it! In a world where you can be anything, be authentically YOU!
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