If you're anything like me, you've done at least 90% or better of the above! To say the least, I'd DEFINITELY win bingo if this was in fact a bingo game. There are many reasons why someone could be an introvert - my reason why? Trauma. I've had a lot of extreme negative experiences with people that have led me to an introvert personality. This is not to say that I don't like people or don't want to be around people. I just prefer to spend the majority of my free time alone. There are a lot of misconceptions about introverts and challenges that we face on a daily basis being an introvert. This topic will most likely become a series because this is not talked about enough and needs awareness brought to it.
This post will give tips as to how to be more social in the workplace when you're an extreme introvert. What prompted this particular topic is that I have recently found myself struggling with this. I started a new job back in May of this year and it's very much a different work environment - a more positive, "happy" one. Not only am I an introvert, but I also struggle with chronic anxiety and depression as well as PTSD. Because of this, I tend to not come across to other people in the best manner all the time. I've had a lot of false accusations made about me which made me feel bad about myself. The truth is, there are SO many people in this world with all different levels of perception and sensitivity - it's nearly impossible to accommodate them all. I'm not saying change yourself for anyone by any means when I give these tips, but merely advising you to practice mindfulness - there is a difference!
Tip #1: Facial Expressions - I have a resting bitch face practically all the time. I deal with a lot of issues with my mental health and physical health on a daily basis. A good majority of the time, if my facial expressions appear negative, it's either got to do with what I'm dealing with in my head, in my body or both. The reason is very rarely anything other than that. However, others don't always know what you're going through and could take your facial expressions personally. Try to be mindful of your facial expressions when you are able to catch yourself and if you find yourself in a situation with another person where they make a comment, just briefly let them in on the know so no false accusations can be made.
Tip #2: Being Overly Quiet - When I'm dealing with something mentally or physically, I get more quiet than normal. Sometimes I really just don't want to be bothered to be honest. So that I contribute my part to a peaceful work environment, I make an effort to speak to others every so often. I always make sure first that I genuinely want to speak to the person as not to be fake. Often times people can take someone being overly quiet as anti-social or unapproachable.
Tip #3: You Have to Handle Everyone Differently - You have to watch what you say and who you say it to. With certain people, you have to watch what you say and the tone you're saying it in. Some people don't like talking about certain topics, prefer to not hear cuss words and some others take sensitivity to how you say something and in what tone you say it in. I've been misunderstood a lot in my life and had to try to clarify what I actually meant to the person on the receiving end. Incorrectly conveying messages is a fault of mine and is something that I continue to work on.
Tip #4: Be Responsive w/ Empathy When the Situation Calls for it - Sometimes interactions call for minimal talking and more listening. There are times where people just need a listening ear. If you've done something wrong in a situation, own it and apologize for it. I like to follow up owning what I do wrong and apologizing with a, "I'm going to work on that". It shows that you are going to hold yourself accountable for your actions and speaks volumes about your character. It's not always an easy thing to do but it's very necessary.
Tip #5: Keep Your Mood in Check - Being an introvert, we tend to get overwhelmed excessively when we are in environments that require us to be social which can lead to anxiety. When the combination takes place, sometimes we can become in a snippy mood - especially if you're someone like me who deals with a lot mentally and physically. Sometimes I'm in so much pain physically that it's difficult for me to keep my mood in check. Maybe try forewarning the person you have to have direct contact with if you can't guarantee your mood status that way it doesn't come as such a shock to them.
Tip #6: Take a Minute if you Need it - Like I said above, being an introvert can be overwhelming and can cause anxiety when we are forced to be in a social environment. If you find yourself getting worked up, perhaps excuse yourself and go to the bathroom where you can take a breather for a minute. It's perfectly acceptable to do. When you have an opportunity to work by yourself throughout the workday, take that time to find your Zen so that you can keep yourself well balanced throughout your workday.
Tip #7: Attempt to Clarify Yourself - If you find yourself in an unsatisfactory situation with a co-worker, attempt to clarify yourself. If you can't do so in the moment because either party is angered, try to reconvene at a later time. We often, by human nature, tend to play the victim in a negative situation - but attempting to reflect on what you could have done wrong in the given situation is the mature thing to do. Also letting the other person know how they made you feel is also acceptable. You can only be responsible for your actions and yours alone. If you attempt to clear things up with said person and they just won't have it, that's on them - not you. If you come to that crossroad, you have to just move on - that's all you can do. I've been in both types of situations - (A): Where I was able to communicate with the person I was having a conflict with and was able to resolve it mutually. (B): Where I attempted to communicate with the person I was having a conflict with and they just didn't want to hear it. It is what it is.
Stay tuned on my next post on introverts and the many misconceptions we face on a daily basis!
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